Birth of youngest child. Hospital staff appears aggravated to have to deal with an obstetric patient. Gas mask placed over my face and I immediately could not breathe. I kept gasping for air and trying to take the mask off my face. I felt like I was dying.
The best description was of being forced through a passage that was too small. There was darkness on the other side like floating in outer space. I felt the presence of a loved one, my maternal grandfather who had passed years earlier. He spoke only French when he was alive and I only spoke English yet I fully understood communication with him. He asked me to follow him into the tunnel. Once entering the tunnel, we seem to float along at a very fast speed. At the end of the tunnel appeared a light. We went towards the light.
When I arrived in the light there were others present who I immediately recognized, yet could not tell you who they were. They appeared to me as bright lights. They welcome me and pulled me into the larger white light. The white light I immediately knew as GOD: the SOURCE of all that is. The large light, along with the other lights and I became one. Complete and total feeling of love and happiness enveloped me. It is hard to describe how wonderful it was. The light communicated to me through ‘knowing-ness’ not with words. ’You must go back’ the light communicated to me. I began to beg and expressed N-O-O-O-, but immediately I turned into one cell and then two and quickly multiplied into numerous cells.
I opened my eyes and was back in my body. My ex-husband was at my bedside and I tried to tell him what had happened to me. The TV was on in the room and I knew exactly what would be said on the TV before it was said. I tried to tell him what would be said next. I told him I had died and came back. He went speak with one of the nurses. They told him it was a response to the drugs they had given me. I knew this was not true. No one could convince me then, or now, that I did not cross over into the light and return. I had never heard or read of anyone having the same experience so I kept the information to myself; since those I attempt to share with appeared to not believe me. I returned to my church/Catholic and became a very active member: going to Mass daily when able. At random moments, I have since heard GOD speak to me. Not with words but a ‘knowing’.
Date NDE Occurred: 'March 31,1983'
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Childbirth
How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? No Nursing staff denied anything happened to me in birthing area of hospital.
I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal Blissful state of being one with all that is.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When one with the light.
Were your thoughts speeded up? No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Time had no meaning.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I don't think I had a vision before the experience. I was mostly unhappy.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Hearing during the experience was not with ears but with the heart: a ‘knowing’.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
The experience included: Tunnel
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes Dark tunnel like driving through a tunnel in the mountain.
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I knew all light flames present. I cannot name them.
The experience included: Darkness
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Bright light of Oneness with everything
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm Words do not come close to describing the space of total bliss and unconditional love.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Blissfulness
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe There is no division between anything. All is one in the light in reality.
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I seemed to get a momentary touch of what reality is. Staying there while in this human experience is the challenge. I did not want to return.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Not important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes Religion is a path. Spirituality is the journey. Oneness with bliss is the Goal.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Christian- Catholic I label myself Catholic but do not practice any religion.
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience Nothing I ever knew or experienced prepared me for what I experienced.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I knew my purpose here was larger than what I was experiencing but did not know what to do about it at the time.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin Hearing was a ‘knowing’. The message was a feeling of unconditional love and happiness. The presence was an overwhelming light full of love.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I sensed their presence
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Yes The feel was that I have always existed and always will. I am a spiritual being having a human experience. Not as some think we are human and experience spirituality.
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I felt at home. One with the source of all.
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God definitely exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes The best was to describe it is GOD or the Source of all was like a large bonfire. Those of us who were in its presence were like candle lights.
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes A knowing that all is, always was, always will be and we are all one with the light of wholeness and bliss. The best way to describe it is GOD: the Source of all was like a large bonfire. Those of us who were in His presence were like candle lights.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Unknown
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes Oneness not division
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? I was uncertain if an afterlife exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes A knowing that all is, always was always will be and are all one with the light of wholeness and bliss.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I moderately feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Greatly fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Unknown
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes the word SERVE came into my knowing as I returned
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Unknown
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes love is all there is
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life I was living each day asleep. Today I work at being awake. Large changes in my life
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Yes I seek people interested in spirituality rather than religion.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Words do not fully communicate the experience.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience I still today know what I happened was real and from Spirit.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes Randomly still experience a ‘knowing’ which I choose to call God speaking to me.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I felt oneness with the Light and overwhelming, unconditional love. The feel was that I have always existed and always will. I am a spiritual being having a human experience. Not as some think, we are human and experience spirituality. I felt at home: One with the source of all.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Immediately with ex-husband. He did not believe me.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I believe I received a gift. I did not know what to do with it or how to use it. How does God want me to serve?
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real It has been a journey. That experience was a spiritual awakening for me.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes I still randomly hear God speak to me.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Love is all there is. The word ‘SERVE’ came into my knowing as I returned. Nothing I ever knew or experienced prepared me for what I experienced. I still today know that what happened was real and from the Spirit.