Experience Description

I remember total darkness, being comfortable, and not wanting to leave. I felt like I was on one side that was separated by a grey boundary. On the other side was chaos. I heard my mother crying. Instantly, I felt like I was given a choice, even though I didn't hear anybody speaking to me. Somehow, I knew that I could stay and it would be easy or go back to the complicated chaos. I didn't want to go over to the chaos. I felt no pain, and I was completely comfortable. My mom's crying pierced that zone, because I became worried about her. I felt myself make a choice to go back. Next thing I knew, I woke up with everybody crying and carrying on. I was completely calm, although the left side of my head severely hurt. The weird thing is that while I was in the darkness and comfortable, I felt like I was on the right side of the boundary. All of the chaos was on the left side of me. I woke up right when the ambulance arrived. I don't believe my heart stopped or that I stopped breathing. The doctors told my parents I had a grand mal seizure. I was only eleven years old, yet I remember 'the choice' I made very vividly. I haven't had one since.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 1984

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No Grand Mal Seizure 'Illness, trauma or other condition not considered life threatening'

How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful

Did you feel separated from your body? No I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness As above.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I would have to say hearing my mother cry and making the decision to go back.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning On my side of the boundary, time seemed to go slow. On the other side, time went by faster.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I only saw black and grey. The grey was the divider for the boundary.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. While I was happy and content in the darkness, I heard nothing. But I suddenly heard my mother cry and it bothered me and worried me.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

The experience included: Void

The experience included: Darkness

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? At first very relaxed and calm. No worries at all. Then I heard my mother cry and I became worried, bothered and couldn't enjoy the calmness.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

The experience included: Special Knowledge

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future

The experience included: Boundary

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes I felt like I was on the right side of a boundary and it was total darkness. To my left, was a grey boundary. Once I was able to hear my mother, I understood that she and everyone else were on the other side.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Conservative/fundamentalist

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What is your religion now? Liberal None

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes Somehow I knew I had a choice.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I felt that wherever I was, no words were needed.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I felt in control of my life after the experience.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I was eleven when it happened, so I didn't really know how to put into words what happened. I have shared it with my mother, but I don't think she believes me.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I enjoyed reliving the experience. It has been so long since I have talked about it. It would be interesting to know if it sounds like a NDE or if it was just my brain trying to recover from the seizure.