I remember passing out from the smoke and not being able to breath. I remember becoming aware of being in a dark place. There was no sound it was just dark. I seemed to be waiting there. Then I began to move toward a brightly lit area. The area appeared to be a bright yellow wall with uneven sections that had definite lines running along it. Along the lines, the edges were faintly pink. I was floating along this wall but could only see one side of it as if my back was against the other side. Yet I had no sense of having a body. I was just aware. As I continued to move along, I became aware of a feeling of horror. That's what I remember feeling. I had the intense urge to get out of there. I kept saying to myself that I have to get out of here. I repeated it several times and then I felt myself falling and everything was black again. I woke up in the emergency room with all of these doctors and nurses around me asking me if I knew who I was.
Date NDE Occurred: 8-21-81
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes fire Clinical death
Dead on arrival from carbon monoxide poisoning from fire.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Disturbing
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I was me but had no awareness of having a body but I was definitely aware of myself.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Very aware.
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
I knew I wasn't here.
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes When I came back I felt as though I was falling through a tunnel
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Void
The experience included: Darkness
The experience included: Light
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes But not a point of light. It was just lit up.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm The area I was in was definitely a place but it went on and on unchanging.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? At first nothing, but as I was moving along the unchanging wall I began to feel horror about being there.
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Uncertain The wall. But I only moved along it.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I made myself come back.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal catholic
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I fear death intensely because the horror of the place where I was, was due to the fact that I was totally alone.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Unable to explain feelings and location.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? There was no best part. The worst part was being in that place alone.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes They say that's interesting but I don't know if they believe me. They seem more interested in the fact that I died.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No