I had just finished a long semester of school and went to visit a friend. When we got there, he had some Marijuana. Which I had smoked before, and wasn't always against it. After taking two deep inhales, I immediately knew something wasn't right. I knew that it wasn't entirely Marijuana. I started to feel my heart rate increase. I stood up and tried to walk around to see if it would help. Within 5 minutes, I knew it wasn't good. I turned to my friend and told him to call 911 because I was having a heart attack. He told me to try to calm down and that I was just having a bad trip. I immediately responded that I knew the difference and this was something very physical. He had me walk outside with him to get some fresh air. But as we stepped out onto the grass, I knew that my heart was beginning to pound even harder and that it was harder to breathe. My friend called 911. I remember telling him, that if I passed out, to tell them everything. That it could save my life. I remember at that moment, I knew I was going to die. It became so real to me the phrase ‘you never know when your time will come.’ I was so aware that I was 28 and my life was going to end. The only regret I had was that I hadn't called my parents that day. I remember hearing the lady on the other end of the phone asking my friend what I was doing. He just kept telling her that I was clutching my chest and breathing deeply.She had us go outside on the grass so that the ambulance could find us. The ambulance was having a hard time finding us. I remember hearing the ambulance off in the distance and as I lay down on the grass, I turned to my friend and told him that if the ambulance did not get there soon I was going to die. At about that time a fire truck arrived. In which a few men stepped out and started asking questions. I started to realize the complete urgency of my situation and that I was dying. I couldn't fully answer their questions. As they stood around me, I remember shouting out ‘help me.’ They replied, ‘we have nothing to help you with.’ In minutes, the ambulance finally arrived and within no time, I was on a stretcher. My heart pounding near out of my chest, breathing labored. The Paramedic began asking me questions, in which I was not able to answer. At that moment I remember feeling my heart start pounding even harder and I knew that I was about to die. I couldn't take it anymore, and I said the words ‘God, I'm ready to go home!’ As the last word ended, the lights went completely out and everything was completely quiet. I felt the calmness come over me. Calm I had never felt in my life. Just utter peace. Time stood still, linear time did not exist. I did not have a thought going through my brain. It was pure calm. At that moment, an intense bright light began to envelope me. I remember how good I felt, with this light and pure calm that was around me. Then as the light began to increase and the calm began to increase, then out of nowhere a voice said ‘you're not ready yet’. I remember realizing I had a body that this wasn't all I remembered and I said the exact words, ‘I'm not ready yet.’ Instantly I was back in my body, I could feel my heart again. The Paramedic yelling around me ‘he's having a heart attack.’ After that, I looked up. They had cut my shirt off; I had all stuff attached to my chest, a breathing tube in my nose. IVs were hooked up into my hands and arms. After that, I awoke in the hospital to the doctors and nurses around me. They were talking and asking me questions in which I had no idea what the answer was. I went back out of it. I awoke a few hours later. A nurse at my side asked me what day it. It was so difficult to answer, but it eventually came back to me. A few minutes later, I heard a voice that I recognized out in the hall. It was one of the Paramedics. He came in and said he was glad to see me alive. We talked for a few minutes and I thanked him for saving my life. After I left the hospital the only word and resounding feeling I had and could take from the whole ordeal was LOVE. I knew deep down that our sole purpose on this earth is to love, to love deeply and strongly. Life is Love. I will take that with me for the rest of my days. I am not afraid of death at all anymore. I know that an after-life awaits us that is beyond anything our human minds can comprehend. On a side note, one other thing that has always stood out in my mind concerns growing up with a Christian upbringing. I had always heard of heaven as ‘home’ but had never really used the term. When I was near death and I said ‘God, I'm ready to go home’, I knew with all my heart that my soul had taken over. My soul was ready to return to its home. We are all here as a lease, to fulfill a purpose and when that purpose has been fulfilled, we will return home.
Date NDE Occurred: 'April 29th, 2010'
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident 'Life threatening event, but not clinical death'
How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant
Did you feel separated from your body? No
I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When the light and calm came over me.
Were your thoughts speeded up? No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Time stood still, linear time did not exist.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? No
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Everything was crystal clear.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Everything was silent.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
The experience included: Tunnel
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Void
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes An immense and intense surrounding light.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Pure calm.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature
The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Moderately important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Other Christian
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I attend church every Sunday.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Christian- Other Christian
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I realized that my partying was hindering my purpose here in life and that this was my second chance to work towards it.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I heard a voice I could not identify
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God definitely exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No just the voice that told me I was not ready
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes The first thing that came to mind after it all was Love. That we are here on earth to experience love.
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife definitely exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists No Just the complete peace and calm
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I moderately feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes That we are here for that purpose. Life is love
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life I quit drinking and doing drugs immediately. I felt that I was not the same person.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Yes Every relationship with every other person I come into contact with has changed.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience as accurately as other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? LOVE, that is all. I truly Love life.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I immediately shared the experience with my Dad and he was very welcoming of it. I still find it hard to talk to other people about it.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I had heard of it. I was not knowledgeable on the subject.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I have tried to pick holes or see if it might have been something else. Without a doubt in my mind, this experience happened and it was real.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Certain movies or sermons in church have brought back strong emotions with the experience.
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