Experience Description

I was in an accident. Hemorrhaging badly, vomiting blood. Taken to surgery I suddenly became aware of slipping out of my body from feet through the top of my head, as if I were the inside of a Concord grape and pancaked above the surgical site as if my spirit got out of the way of my body. I could feel this process happen.

I watched everything that was going on in a completely detached mode. The tools looked like a carpenter's shop. I heard the music, the buzz of saws, and I could read the minds and futures of the people there including my own. I saw the reason for my life and what I needed to work out. Physically speaking, I saw through walls. My husband was home chopping wood. I saw red roses waiting in my patient room from my sister in Alaska. I saw my kids were in school and I knew what they were doing. I could instantly read the minds of those in the surgery room and what they would do next. I also knew one physicians brother had cancer and didn't know it. He would die the following year (and did). The other was having a Romeo and Juliet affair that would end up badly (and did). I was in the middle of some kind of hologram. I noticed all my feelings, emotions, personality and knowledge were still with me and that I carried a large amount of anger toward certain people, especially my parents and the religion they used against me. I'd been an agnostic for years.

Next, I observed a Being of Light instantly entering this holographic space. When he came, I was washed with a flood of love and forgiveness for everyone and everything. I even loved the earth and all its beauty and the animals on the earth and 'felt' the spiritual process we are all in, and how we are literally tied together as brothers and sisters needing to be unified in love and care.

This experience totally changed my life and the direction of my life. I never drank another alcoholic drink or used another chemical. I reunited with my estranged family. I wrote a letter of forgiveness to my ex-husband and he wrote back expressing the same; something neither of us could do before this. Many other impressions came to me that was very personal. I went to sleep one person and woke up quite another. I am now seventy years old and no longer fear death as this experience seems as if it happened recently and all images are deeply impressed upon my mind even though it happened in 1982.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: Sept. 1982

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident 'Life threatening event, but not clinical death' Accident. Broken back. Hemorrhaging Hemorrhaging due to accident.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal As above.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? It seemed as if I was totally alert, but my body was under extreme sedation. I could remember everything and recalled everything. It completely changed my life, my belief system and the angst I formerly felt toward certain family members. All emotions were the same as prior to surgery, but changed by this spiritual insight. Obviously I took myself with me wherever I go.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Everything in a hologram. I watched everything happening within the surgical arena. I could 'see' and 'hear' everything in my world and it blended easily within the sidereal universe as if past, present and future are all at once.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I could see through walls. I read the surgeon's mind and instantly 'knew' he was having an affair with the attending nurse. I knew that his brother would die of cancer the following year (and did). My sister had sent me roses; my husband was home chopping wood. My kids were in school. A list of details, all too trivial to write about, but confirmed to me what I saw was real. Unlike dreams, I remembered everything as if it just happened. It changed the direction of my life and the way I took care of my body, my life, my family and patients forever after.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Heightened hearing. More than that, I could 'hear' thoughts of the people in the room.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No Stayed pan-caked over my body, detached, watching from above the operating table and observing everything with greater clarity than if I were doing the surgery myself.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes A Holy being so filled with love and forgiveness, I searched afterwards to find a picture of what I saw. I finally found a pencil drawing by Frances Hook of Jesus with the children. That is the closest image of a Holy Being to what I saw although I'd never seen that particular picture before my NDE experience.

The experience included: Light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Only aware of being in a bright light, surrounded by a bright light and the light of a Holy Being. All was in some kind of a hologram and not necessarily face to face. In other words, I could understand how God might project into everyone's life at the same time, like some Skype computer image or TV, but all was far more personal as if we are all connected as one.

The experience included: A landscape or city

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? All my human emotions including past experiences, except all past emotions were completely washed with love in a way that I never again held on to my former anger.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

The experience included: Special Knowledge

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

The experience included: Life review

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control Absolutely. I understood why my parents had rejected me. I understood the part of my childhood religion that was definitely man-made and ego-centered. I no longer believe in that religion or any 'religion,' but I believe in God and eternal life, but no religious affiliation. Also our personality including our knowledge and emotions seem to always go with us wherever we are, in this life or another.

The experience included: Vision of the future

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future Absolutely changed my life and my beliefs. I now believe in Christ. Before I studied Eastern religions and felt that all knowledge is relative and like the adage of the 'Six Blind Men and the Elephant.' Everyone had a different handle on truth. After the experience, I changed this perception. I do feel there is an absolute Truth, but so complex and eternal we will never understand it in this dimension and simply don't have the tools for such knowing. But it doesn't matter. 'Everything,' is simply love. Jesus was right, 'Love everything that is Godly. Love yourself, love your neighbor.' (Matt.22:37-40), but I don't adhere to any specific religious organization.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Conservative/fundamentalist

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes

What is your religion now? Liberal

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes

The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I knew my purpose and it changed the direction of my life and how I treated my children and my career.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes It caused a divorce and although I never told my family, they noticed the difference and my father had me officially excommunicated from the church. His loss and his pain.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Everything in a hologram. I had the ability to see and know everything at once. I could see through walls. I knew the past, present and future of people in surgery. I saw what family members were doing. Great peace and comfort after turbulent life.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes Anything electrical shuts down. However, it also works in the reverse. I have some uncanny ability for anything mechanical or electrical. I instantly figure it out and so, my husband turns such things over to me. I used this ability in energy healing of my patients as they came out of surgery and were still sleepy and became known as 'The nurse who had the best patients.' I never told anyone however, what I was doing. It was assumed by my co-workers I had given them a cola drink and percadan i.e. double caffeine.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I'd been raised in a fundamental religion where women were lesser (polygamy). I rebelled from that church and lived a life of rebellion. This experience completely altered my awareness. I never took another alcoholic drink or drug of any kind afterwards and I'm totally at peace in my own skin but saddened to watch those in my family, made unhappy by doctrine in their religion.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Uncertain I attempted to with my physician, but he was so scared by what I saw in his future and that I'd 'seen' his affair going on, he cut me off directly. After that, I kept everything to myself. (By the way, he was having an affair as I psychically had seen and it broke up his family and caused a suicide. All sad stuff.)

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No It was never talked about or much known at the time and the physician I tried to share it with, said I was hallucinating. By the way, he was a Seventh Day Adventist. That religion does not believe in an afterlife until Jesus raises them at resurrection day. Hence, my NDE was not considered valued by this doctor because (I quote), 'There is no afterlife. When we die we're dead.'

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I felt resurrected with a joy to life I didn't previously have.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I have become very spiritual, patient and much more loving. I also became forgiving of people who had wounded me deeply i.e. parents, ex-husband.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No I've had cancer: breast and ovarian, three more spinal fusions, three arthoplasty's and NEVER had this repeat. I even took LSD during the 1960's and it was nothing like any drug that entered my body.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I feel it was a gift. I have ten siblings. I wish I could share this with, but their religious belief gets in the way.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Just a greater awareness that we are spiritual beings having a mortal experience and when it comes to 'God,' the tools of science don't apply. The spiritual realm cannot be explained using physical tools to measure spiritual concepts. Science can't explain God because it can't explain a puzzle, a paradox, a mystery. Quantum Physics attempts to understand our universe and us in it, but all it explains is it is unimaginable. The multiple dimensions of the afterlife is neither explainable nor something we need to explain. We barely understand ourselves as humans. We need to take one dimension at a time and realize, life is eternal and we'll have what we need when we 'get there,' to deal with that dimension. Having said that, I'm deeply grateful that NDEs are becoming acceptable. I met many such people during my own practice in medicine, including confirming NDE experiences, while I worked in an intensive care unit.