Experience Description

A skier came off a ski jump at a fast speed, screamed 'watch out', and crashed on top of me. I remember feeling incredible pain everywhere, and then, 'it stopped' just like that.

My last thought was 'So THIS is what it's like to die....' and I became this 'head'. Not a weighted down body, more like a light, free, thinking, silent-talking (no words spoken, but messages understood), head. I went 'up' until I reached this white world. All white with a brighter white 'hole-like' opening off in the distance. From that hole, while I was 'stuck' as this 'head' just able to watch, two figures slowly came towards me.

They were dressed in long white robes, including hoods that covered their identities as they held their heads downward while they walked. When they were within ten feet of me, they both looked up to reveal themselves as my deceased uncle John (whom I LOVED!) and my grandmother behind him. I was SO EXCITED to see my Uncle John. I wanted to run to him and hug him, but I was stuck where I was, just this head peering above this cloud of white. As I was screaming silently 'Uncle John! Uncle John!' (Because I admit I was confused and scared and quite relieved to see a familiar face to help/explain where I was), he stopped short of me, shook his head as if to say 'No, it's not your time'. Slowly he turned with his head back down, while my grandmother followed. (I should note that they were the only deceased relatives that I personally knew at that time).

Next thing I knew I felt like someone was slicing my chest open with a knife. Extremely painful taking that first breath! I was 'MAD'! I remember being ANGRY that I was SO CLOSE to hugging my uncle and these people must be the reason for ruining it. The first words I heard was my husband saying, 'Don't make Danny feel bad saying anything because he's been crying - he thinks he killed you!' So of course, I didn't get to share my experience or get any medical attention! They bought me a beer for my headache and left me in the lodge to sleep while they went back to skiing. Nice friends, huh?

Overall, yes it changed my life. I talk to people I don't know now. I love meeting people, helping people. You only live once. I enjoy my life more now and I'm NOT afraid to die. Having loved ones pass on is not so painful knowing they are all up there together.

I was told by doctors that I was clinically dead for approximately three minutes based on brain cells that were destroyed. I have been left with seizures, narcolepsy and no short term memory. I like to say I am eternally twenty-eight since I haven't made a new memory since. But that day, being my last real memory, will be with me forever!

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: February 1988

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No Accident Skier came off ski jump above and crashed down on top of me Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function)

How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Normal consciousness and alertness

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When my head was above the clouds watching the two figures coming towards me.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Time didn't matter.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Did your vision differ in any way from normal? I suppose, yes, I could see way off into the distance into that white hole far away where they walked from towards me. It was very dimensional, like a tunnel. (I have had my Uncle visit me since in a dream, where he came down a white tunnel to give me a message that came true.)

Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? Well, you didn't speak, but you communicated without words so hearing wasn't really 'real' so to 'speak' (sorry for the play on words!).

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No I didn't pass through it, but I saw it in the distance. That's where the two figures came out of.

The experience included: Presence of deceased persons

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I met my Uncle John and my grandmother - the only two deceased relatives I knew at the time. They came from the tunnel towards me. Communication was only by me, trying to say with words, but no words would come, only thoughts 'Uncle John!' I wanted to run but couldn't. He merely shook his head to say it wasn't my time and left again back to the tunnel with my grandmother following.

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Uncertain Not quite a light, but the tunnel/enclosure area was definitely brighter than the rest of the white world.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm Yes, I went up until I my 'head' was just above a white layer of clouds. The world was all white. It was like I was at a certain stage, frozen in that spot. Waiting to be greeted by my relatives, only to be told to go back because it wasn't my time.

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? At first when I thought 'so this is what it's like to die' I was very, very calm. Then when I reached the 'white world' I was a little scared while I had to 'wait' in that one spot unable to move while the white figures moved toward me. Excited to see my Uncle. Sad when I didn't get to hug him. Angry when I came back.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future

The experience included: Boundary

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes I reached the boundary, being only a head above the clouds. I felt the next level would have been my relatives reaching out to me and walking me into the tunnel where they came from, but they didn't touch me or talk to me, only shook their heads.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Conservative/fundamentalist none

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes Religion has nothing to do with it at all. We all do to the same place and are greeted the same way. BUT, there is DEFINITELY SOMETHING beyond that tunnel that is running things. You just KNOW that because of the orderly fashion in which things are being run. Something is running all this.

What is your religion now? Conservative/fundamentalist none

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Religion has nothing to do with it at all. We all do to the same place and are greeted the same way. BUT, there is DEFINITELY SOMETHING beyond that tunnel that is running things. You just KNOW that because of the orderly fashion in which things are being run. Something is running all this.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes My engineer husband doesn't believe anything.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain It is hard to describe the feeling of just being able to communicate without talking to my deceased uncle; and to describe the all white world and deeper white hole-like area they (grandmother and uncle) came walking slowly out of towards me.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I have no short term memory so I can't be specific, but I do have a way of predicting things, or 'just knowing' certain things about people, etc.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Knowing I get to see my parents again - I have peace knowing that. I know that they 'may' be able to be around me when they 'get' permission to come visit me. Somehow I feel like they have rules to follow beyond that tunnel - it just seemed so 'organized' the way they came out like they were on a path - and turned etc.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes After the event occurred. No one really wanted to hear or talk about it for fear of upsetting Danny, the friend who hit me and had 'been crying'. (The other guys were 'embarrassed' for him.) Since then, I have found that people who have lost love ones appreciate hearing my experience. They are most likely to believe than the average 'engineer' type person.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes Out of body experience once during a surgery - floated above myself while I watched the nurse yelling to the doctor that I was 0 over 60 - and I went out into the hallway and watched the doctor (from above) running down the hall over to my bed. Then, I was back as a body again.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. It has and will always be real. I KNOW it happened. I don't care who believes it. They can wait and find out for themselves someday, but most of them won't come back to apologize to me for not believing me.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. The part where I went from 'extreme pain' to no pain at all and then my LAST THOUGHT being 'SO THIS IS WHAT IT'S LIKE TO DIE.' Why on earth would I ever have that thought? I have never done that before when I've fallen down or been injured in any way. I pass out all the time and I don't have that thought. It was ONLY that time. THEN, after that thought, It all began. Nothing had started yet prior to that thought other than no pain anymore.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Uncle John came to me four years after the event while I was pregnant with my last child in a dream. He came down a long white tunnel, dressed the same way in white robe, holding something. When I asked what it was, he said 'It's your baby girl and her name is Carly. I have been taking care of your girls these past few years, but now it is your turn.' STRANGE THING IS, I did have a daughter the next month. Her name was GOING to be Brianna, but every time I told the dream to someone, they said 'I love that name Carly.' Well, she ended up being named Carly by popular demand, just like he told me her name would be. Also, a month after giving birth to my last of three girls, I began having seizures, and now take medications that would have kept me from having children. I am sure somehow, he protected me from these seizures until I had had all my children, and he made sure they were all born safe. And now 'I' protect them.