Catherine P NDE

Experience Description

It was a regular school day. I remember feeling slightly sad but I could not apprehend the cause for such sadness. I told myself maybe it was because winter has arrived and it was only natural to feel under the weather. Throughout the day, I felt increasingly tired and when I got home, I went to take a nap. I awoke from my nap when I heard that my aunt was paying us a visit. I was interacting with the family for a good half an hour or so.

While facing my mom, I suddenly felt dizzy but I expected that feeling to go away once I found a chair to sit down. Unfortunately, it only took a split second before I lost my consciousness. When asked afterwards, the people who were present at the time told me that I had stopped breathing and my pulse could not be found for two to three minutes. CPR was performed but I did not feel any of that. During that time, I experienced a near death experience.

The moment of detaching myself from my body occurred quickly like a click in time. The part about my soul leaving my body and entering into the void was quickly fast-forwarded so I couldn't figure out how I arrived to the void. Then I was in a dense hazy gray void - kind of like seeing the world without colors with poor vision.

I remember the feeling of self-reflection being enhanced. The only emotion present was peacefulness and a faint emotion of melancholy. I had all the time in the world. Physically, there were no boundaries around. I felt stable even though I was in midair. There was no floor and no sky. I remember feeling alone and wondered what was happening. It was strange how I had no memory of who I was, where I was, how I got there, who I was related to, and what had happened to me. I entered a realm with no recollection. Is this what birth is like?

I was confused when I could hear faint voices of people that sounded familiar but I could not remember who they were. The language that I was so familiar with was received as pure sounds. I could not understand what was being said. These voices of my parents and aunt were talking to me. Their voices were accompanied with broken beams of colors. I was frustrated with the poor vision and tried hard to make sense of what I was seeing and hearing. I could not decide if I should search for the colors, walk into the haze, and stop to be engulfed with the feeling of 'self' or go towards the bright light. The light could not be seen continuously but its presence was continuously there. The gray haze was blocking the light. It's color was so bright it was literally white and bright. Although I could not go towards the light at the time, I could feel how peaceful, and extremely grand and profound the light was. Again, I felt distracted by the different intermittent connection to life.

Suddenly, a female person stood to my left. I felt like I knew her but I could not remember who she was. Because I could not make sense of whom she was, I did not trust her. I later learned she was my other aunt who had passed away just twelve days ago. She had a darker presence than I did. I felt tamed sadness from her. We communicated telepathically. She instructed me to follow her into a distance void to the left. A part of me wanted to follow her but another part of me couldn't let go of the 'interesting' distracting color beams and sounds coming from life.

I remember my dead aunt rushing me to follow her in a non-rushing manner. She urged me to let go of the colors and sounds because she wanted to show me something. Just then, the strong and non-broken white light washed over me and separated my aunt from me. I felt tingly and loved by an unexplainable rush of white light. Before I had time to make sense of what had happened, I felt myself choke and cry. I began to understand the sound that was foreign to my ears. My vision had corrected itself and the broken color beams joined. My memory slowly returned to me. This, I realized, was when I came back to life.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 'November 29, 2010'

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes 'Not yet diagnosed. I was dizzy and just when I told my mom I was dizzy, everything happened quickly afterwards.' Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) I was not breathing and my heart stopped.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Less consciousness and alertness than normal As above.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I was at my highest level of consciousness and alertness when I first arrived to the void and was not being distracted by the colors, sounds, and the presence of my dead aunt. I had never felt 'myself' so pronounced. I was stripped to my naked soul. I remember thinking about feeling myself and what that feeling was. I felt peace. I only began to become distracted shortly after I felt melancholic. That feeling of peace is comparable to an eternity of comforting sleep.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning I felt like I was transitioning between life and death. There is this tight space in between that looks like what the TV screen looks like when you turn it off. It 'blinks' and the picture warps into a small point in the middle of the screen. The void is the other side. It is just space with no boundaries.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. The vision lacked in clarity. Imagine having extremely poor vision and not having access to spectacles that could fix the vision problem. No defined edges. Blobs of blurriness.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Sounds had no walls to bounce off. Sounds produced are emitted and go off infinitely. I could recognize emotions, texture, loudness, pitch and character to sound but I could not understand what the sound meant. I could only understand the emotions behind the sound, etc. laughing sound meant joy. Communication occurred telepathically and was understood like we understand emotions, not sounds.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain I think when there was a click in time, I was sucked into a tunnel. It was so fast I cannot be certain.

The experience included: Presence of deceased persons

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I saw my dead aunt. She stood about a hand span away to my left. We were side by side. We communicated telepathically.

The experience included: Void

The experience included: Light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The light is like a rush of immense joy. It came as a spontaneous singular light ray. I had to want it for it to engulf me. If I don't face it, it sparkles like a distant star and becomes fainter if I do not want it.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Peace (10/10). Curiosity, where am I? What am I doing here? Why can't I remember anything? What do I need to do? Why can't I see clearly? What is happening? (4-5/10). Loneliness (very faint emotion of it though. 1 on a scale of 10) and melancholy (2-3 on a scale of 10). Fear (5/10). Joy (10/10). It was very brief and occurred with the light.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal Believer in God but no specific religion. I have a Christianity and Buddhism background

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I used to fear that if I did not worship Jesus, I would burn in Hell because like most people describe it, 'Jesus is the only religion.' I did not want to believe in a religion that was conditional. I felt deep down that God is unconditionally loving (in a non spoiled manner). That God guides, helps us develop, grow and achieve mastery and peace, not condemn, restrict or torture. Now that the fear is gone, I feel at greater ease. If I do choose to be religious, I will do it for the feeling of the light that I had felt and not because 'if I don't, I'll end up in Hell.' I now believe that religious teachings are stepping-stones to the light. There are different pathways to it as there are different religions. It is how you interpret the teachings that take you to the light; not what the teaching is (e.g. what the religion is).

What is your religion now? Liberal Same as above

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I used to fear that if I did not worship Jesus, I would burn in Hell because like most people describe it, 'Jesus is the only religion.' I did not want to believe in a religion that was conditional. I felt deep down that God is unconditionally loving (in a non spoiled manner). That God guides, helps us develop, grow and achieve mastery and peace, not condemn, restrict or torture. Now that the fear is gone, I feel at greater ease. If I do choose to be religious, I will do it for the feeling of the light that I had felt and not because 'if I don't, I'll end up in Hell.' I now believe that religious teachings are stepping-stones to the light. There are different pathways to it as there are different religions. It is how you interpret the teachings that take you to the light; not what the teaching is (e.g. what the religion is).

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I wanted to be more loving and receptive to people I have taken for granted. Feelings of hatred, dislike, jealousy and such are distant. I just feel a lot of ease, peace and kindness towards everyone.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes A deep philosophical understand of the purpose of life and its existence. Feel much more knowledgeable, at peace and kind.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The realization that life is nothing but a creation of collected minds. There is life, the people who occupy that dimension, the self, and the higher dimension. The higher dimension is where the light comes from. The self is the soul. When I was detached from life, I realized that 'nothing matters but joy and peace.' It was very important that in order to achieve this, I have to 'let go' of 'life' and its 'burdens and attached complex emotions.' Love is not the same feeling we feel between people. Love is the feeling of joy, peace, boundless acceptance and closure to desires.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Fifteen minutes afterwards. They were surprised and were interested in what I had to say. They felt enlightened.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Uncertain Prior to that I felt like I was 'missing' something. The feeling you have when you're saying goodbye. It was like I was saying goodbye to everyone and everything throughout the day till the event took place.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was probably real At first I did not remember it because I became overwhelmed with my physical ailment. When I had the time to reflect (fifteen minutes after it happened), I realized how profound and enlightening the experience was. I reflected upon it because I wanted to understand why it happened and what I need to understand and do about it.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real Currently I want to make sure I remember what happened and to confirm with myself that it was real because what had happened was no dream and the emotion I experienced from it was so complex and profound I could not just forget about it.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I had trouble with the concept of time after the experience. The feeling of no boundary was still lingering. After that experience I feel like I'm always 'awake'.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Have the option of recording our answers verbally!