I remained conscious during the dog attack, and the dog's owner carrying me across the street to my father, who was getting ready to go to work on the night shift as an engineer. My father blanched when he saw me and ran with me next door to the neighbors who were my sitters. They packed towels over my face, which was gushing blood and drove us to the hospital. I was concerned about the drive to the hospital, telling my father that we should not be driving through red lights. My father carried me into the emergency department calling for help. My mother was a nurse in the same hospital, and she was at work upstairs on another floor. I was lying on the gurney on my back, my feet pointed towards the sliding glass doors. The emergency room was painted in a 'French mint' color, and the floors were a beige and speckled linoleum. The doctors were all around me, and a nurse was cutting my brown corduroy pants and orange turtleneck off my body. I was embarrassed.
The next thing I knew, I was hearing their voices muffled, as if I was underwater, or the way your hearing is distorted when you hold your hands cupped over your ears, and I started to rise up out of my body. I moved up about eight feet overhead and was looking down at the scene below me. Everyone was running around frantically, and my father was seated at my left, crying. I turned to look over my right shoulder, and moved effortlessly to the far corner of the room, hovering near the ceiling. I could feel that I had all of my limbs, but I had no body. I looked down to my hand, and could sense it, but it was not solid.
I felt a being beside me and slightly behind me. This being seemed female and like an older woman, but I had not lost any family members that I knew, so I do not know who she was. I could feel her holding me, supporting me cuplike, arms around me and under my knees, like being in a baby swing, so that I didn't feel any sense of being unstable. (I am afraid of heights, especially of falling). I was aware that there was a lot of commotion over by the gurney, but I wasn't recognizing the body on the gurney as myself. I felt peaceful and completely comfortable. The temperature was perfect, I felt bathed in warmth and love. There was no fear, no pain, just great joy. There was whiteness all around me. There were no features of any kind, just bright, clear whiteness that sparkled and didn't hurt my eyes at all. It was beautiful.
I became aware of a second being moving towards me. This being was very bright and sparkled, but I could not see facial features, and that didn't bother me at all, it seemed perfectly acceptable. There was waves of love swirling all around me. I sensed the being speaking to me in my head. He asked if I wanted to go with 'him' into the light. I asked if mommy, daddy, and Teri (my little sister) could come with me. He said no, I had to go alone. I felt distressed and said I was just a little girl, and I could not leave my daddy. So he told me that I had to go back. I heard a whooshing, and felt shot back towards my body, through a tunnel extremely quickly. I was back in my body, looking up at the ceiling again, and feeling the hard gurney crinkling underneath me. And I had to pee. My mother burst through the doors in her nurses whites and ran to my side. I told her I was sorry that my clothes were ruined, that the nurses had cut them off.
According to my parents, I told everyone around me for a couple of weeks what had happened. Nurses, doctors, orderlies, everyone who came near me, until my father told me that it wasn't polite, and I should stop telling people. I remember feeling confused and embarrassed that I was not allowed to tell anyone that I had been to Heaven.
Date NDE Occurred: September 1971
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident Dog attack, facial mauling. Extensive blood loss and severe injuries. Two surgeries required, one immediate, another two years later. Life threatening event, but not clinical death I don't know if I clinically died at any point. No one will confirm.I had been grabbed by the face by an Old English sheep dog , shaken like a rag doll, and thrown into a flowerbed, ripping my face apart, requiring emergency surgery to save my life from massive bleeding.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal Colors were vivid, details were magnified. I could see the entire emergency room layout from up there, and have drawn it for my parents many times since. I noticed the speckles in the linoleum flooring!
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I was up in the corner of the room near the ceiling, being held by the first being, and being aware of the light and love around me.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning I knew I was somewhere else, perhaps at the gates of Heaven.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Did your vision differ in any way from normal? I knew I had a body, but I could not see it. I could feel all of my limbs, but I was also aware that they were not there. It didn't bother me at all, I still felt whole.
Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? It sounded a bit distorted, like I was trying to listen through stereo headphones, or was underwater.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes The place where I was felt like a room above the hospital room, but still in sight of it. It had a boundary, but I couldn't see a boundary like walls. I could still see my body in the emergency room, but I couldn't see beyond the glowing edges of this place where I was. There was a sense of a tunnel though, when I shot back down into my body.
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I did not know the first being who held me, but it felt like a mother-love. I do not know who she was, and she did not communicate with me. The second being was a greater being, very awe-inspiring. (Now, as an adult, I believe he was Jesus or perhaps Saint Peter.) He asked me if I wanted to go with him into the light, and when I asked if I could bring my family, he said that no, I had to go alone. When I said I could not leave my daddy, he said that I needed to return to my family, and sent me back.
The experience included: Void
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes It surrounded me up in this room. The second being that I saw came from a place of greater light, and it was incredibly bright white.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm The room that was bright and white. I was aware of boundaries to this space, but I could not see beyond it.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Peacefulness mostly. My only discomfort was when I had to consider being separated forever from my father. It wasn't panic, it was just a distress - I wanted to be with my daddy.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future I have had knowledge of things that I have no business knowing. I told my German father in law that the Berlin Wall was coming down, a year before it happened. I have often had a sense of warning for catastrophic disasters that would affect people I loved, giving me time to warn them. Last summer I was in Canada on vacation, and I sensed a tornado - I called home, and in fact, there was one less than a mile from our house in Texas, I warned them to get cover in time, BEFORE the alarms started sounding. It came within a half mile of our home, but they were safe by then.
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes The boundary was behind the second being. I knew that if I took his hand, we would walk into the brighter light, and I would not be coming back to my family. I knew it was a one-way trip.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Conservative/fundamentalist Roman Catholic
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Uncertain I believe in God and Heaven. Most certainly, with no reservation. But I have this overwhelming feeling that God does not want us to pay lip-service to Him by following the man-made rules of all the divisive forms of religion. Each church is screaming that they are the WAY, and the rest are not. The clearest way to God, is to speak to him directly. THAT is when we are in communion with God. We do not need the church or clergy as an intermediary. I also feel that God feels many churches are using his name in vain - they are using faith as a means to control and exploit people, instead of embracing what God gives us directly. No church has ever been open to hearing what I have experienced. They seem more like artificial forms of social control rather than real connection to God on earth.
What is your religion now? Liberal Roman Catholic
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Uncertain I believe in God and Heaven. Most certainly, with no reservation. But I have this overwhelming feeling that God does not want us to pay lip-service to Him by following the man-made rules of all the divisive forms of religion. Each church is screaming that they are the WAY, and the rest are not. The clearest way to God, is to speak to him directly. THAT is when we are in communion with God. We do not need the church or clergy as an intermediary. I also feel that God feels many churches are using his name in vain - they are using faith as a means to control and exploit people, instead of embracing what God gives us directly. No church has ever been open to hearing what I have experienced. They seem more like artificial forms of social control rather than real connection to God on earth.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I knew that I was somewhere very special that no one had told me about, because they had not been there.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I am tightly bonded to my father. Though I remember that he asked me not to tell people at the time what happened, he is the only one in my family that I feel truly understands that what happened is real, and the abilities that have come since, are real. I almost sort people into groups now: Those who are open, and those who are not.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes It started with small things, like knowing who was calling before the phone rang. I began to 'hear' people calling to me spiritually, and I would pick up the phone myself and find out that they had needed to talk to me all day. I feel like a radio that has been tuned in. I 'know' things that later turn out true. I see a movie in my head sometimes that tells me what is happening inside a person. I have seen images that tell me about an illness that is hidden, or of no concern, or show me old injuries. The visions are completely accurate, confirmed by the person I have just 'read'. I am always right. I 'knew' my grandmother's cancer would not be her cause of death, nor would it cause her suffering. I told her so, and she was relieved. A year later she had a sudden heart attack, which was her cause of death.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Being held and turning my head and seeing the second being coming towards me. I felt such love and safety.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes As a child I told everyone, until I was shushed. I started telling people again when I was about twenty-one, only one was receptive, a pastor who was very interested in my experience as he did a lot of hospice work. This is ironic, because my mother as an intensive care nurse has witnessed many people dying and has seen events happen that occur with many patients, in the process of death. They reach out and sit up, patients that have been in comas for long periods. I have felt some people have needed to know, and I have told them. Others, I sense do not have any openness to understand that there is an existence beyond this one, and I do not offer them the information.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No None. I was only five years old and in 1971 no one talked about NDE.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. I felt that I needed to tell everyone what happened. That was my goal, to let them know what was there, that they couldn't see.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. Well, I believe that it was exactly real. As a five year old, I had no frame of reference to explain to myself why I was up there on the ceiling, but being up there didn't concern me at all. It was normal. I have every detail as vivid today as that day, in my mind. I can only attribute it to God. Ironic, since I am no longer a practicing Catholic, even though I have personally been touched and blessed by Pope John Paul II in Edmonton in 1987. Why me? Was meeting the Pope a reminder from God that I still have a job to do?
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Uncertain I had a second experience that happened when I was thirty, in the hospital with double lung micro plasma pneumonia. The doctors were very afraid that I was going to die, I later found out; I was extremely ill. I had four IV's running with two kinds of antibiotics, bronchi-dilators and breathing stimulants. That night at about 4:00 am, from the right side of my bed, I saw something coming towards my hospital window.
Four beings came into my room, enrobed in dark colored robes. I could not see their faces, but I could hear them talking to me in my head. The four beings stood guard beside my bed on the right side, shielding me from the window. A fifth being stood at the head of my bed (where the wall was!) and placed his hand upon my forehead. Each time he touched me, I heard the word 'breathe' in my head. I was very afraid at first. I am a rational adult!
A nurse came into the room to check on me from the left side of the foot of the bed. I told her that I needed my priest and that I thought I was hallucinating. She asked me why. I said, 'Do you see the five guests I have here with me?' She said, 'No, and go to sleep'.
I lay there all night, and felt the being at my head placing his hand upon me and commanding me to breathe. I felt safe then, and rested, without sleeping.
By morning, I suddenly became aware as the sun came up, that they had vanished. For the entire day, people came to visit me in the hospital; all told me that they had been compelled to come to see me. These people had no reason to know I was in the hospital, I only knew one of them. That one, my aqua-fit instructor, brought a drawing of an angel, and said her daughter told her to bring it to me.
The ENTIRE day, every time I turned on the TV, every channel was talking about angels. I phoned my mother in another province, only to find out that my brother's roommate's mother had died in the night - she had simply stopped breathing. I felt immense guilt that I had five beings guarding me throughout the night, and she had not had any.
My abilities to 'sense' things have been magnified since that event. At no time did I leave my body. But I had a very strong sense that they were there to protect me from something that could have threatened me. It was again, not my time to go.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I wish there were others I could talk to about it. I am aware that there are so few in the world that can understand that Heaven is a real place. You can believe in God and heaven without all the baggage of religion. These experiences are so completely counter to my very rational personality. Yet, they are absolutely true, and I can't deny them. I know it would be an affront to God if I did.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Dispel the medical myth that this is just a biochemical manifestation of a dying brain misfiring!!! Wouldn't that result in measurable effects of brain damage if the person came back? Give some legitimacy to those of us that have had NDE. We are real, rational, logical people, not religious zealots.