Experience Description

I had been drinking with friends and started to feel light headed. We were sitting in someone's back yard on the patio. I felt like I was going to pass out so I stood to try to go inside. I remember taking two steps and then I passed out. I don't remember feeling it, but I was told I hit my head really hard on the cement patio.

All I remember is black; everything was black. I could feel my body shaking hard, as if I was having a seizure, so I was aware of my body. Then, really quickly in the blackness, I literally did see what others have described as a 'slide show' but I had no control of it. It was like watching a movie in wide-screen. Black was on the bottom and top, and this slide show whizzed by in the middle. I remember trying to see the pictures, but they were going by so fast, that I had to concentrate to target my eyes on one. When I concentrated, they stopped moving for a second. The picture that was on the far right seemed to light up, as if to give me a chance to see what it was. I was able to see it for a second, and remember realizing that they were all pictures of my life. I don't remember what the picture was that helped me realize this. Something tells me that it was a picture of a family member and me when I was a small child, but I have no evidence or remembrance to back this up, I just always remember thinking that. Then, the pictures disappeared and I could feel my body shaking hard, as if I was having a seizure, so I was aware of my body. There was a noise in my ears roaring, getting louder and louder so that my ears hurt. I remember thinking 'I wish the pictures would come back, because I wasn't shaking then.'

Then I got the feeling like I was going wet myself, but it felt like I had been holding it for days, and it hurt as my body seemed to resist it. My body shook harder, and then I could hear voices. I couldn't open my eyes, they felt like they weighed 100 pounds, but I was able to answer my boyfriend at the time, but I didn't recognize it was his voice right away. I remember him asking me to open my eyes, and all I could do was shake my head. It took me 30 minutes to come around totally. I couldn't open my eyes for the first 10, even after they were able to sit me up slowly. I found that I had been carried inside to the living room couch. They told me I hit my head hard on the patio floor when I went down. I asked them if I was shaking, as if I had a seizure and told them what I felt. My boyfriend said 'No, I was shaking you to try to wake you up.'

It turns out he was not shaking me as hard as I felt at all and four people witnessed this. Maybe because of the state I was in it felt worse. When I was able to get up, I went to the bathroom, absolutely positive I had wet myself. Not only were my pants not wet, but nothing was amiss. I was in no pain, just felt pressure. I tried to urinate, and couldn't. This feeling was what bothered me the most. I was 100% positive that I had wet myself during my experience. At this point, I do remember thinking of the possibility of almost dying, reviewing the things that I had experienced, the slide show, losing control of my bowels and bladder, the sounds, the blackness. I did not experience loss of time. At the most, it was 60 to 90 seconds. I did not see light, or feel any type of comfort, even when seeing the slide show. I struggled, especially when my body was shaking. It hurt; I was trying to make it stop violently shaking. My bladder hurt, I was resisting against both of them. I felt terror and resistance, I fought.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 1999

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Direct head injury alcohol 'Illness, trauma or other condition not considered life threatening' I had been drinking with friends and started to feel light headed. We were sitting in someone's back yard on the patio. I felt like I was going to pass out so I stood to try to go inside. I remember taking two steps and then I passed out. I don't remember feeling it, but I was told I hit my head really hard on the cement patio.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Frightening

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? Less consciousness and alertness than normal When I was fighting against my body shaking.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I was fighting against my body shaking.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Complete blackness

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It was so loud it was painful then became dulled, slow and far away.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

The experience included: Void

The experience included: Darkness

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Confusion, panic and resistance

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

The experience included: Life review

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control A slide show that went fast. I didn't know what I was looking at because I couldn't get a clear view of anything. But when I thought about it, it slowed just long enough for one picture on the far right to stand out. I don't remember what it was, but I've always thought it was a picture of a family member and myself when I was a young child. I don't remember thinking or feeling anything specific, just that being able to see that picture for a second is what made me realize they were pictures of my life.

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate None.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No

What is your religion now? Moderate None.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes It seemed like something just made to experience, not to describe.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes 5 years later they believed me, and were very open to my experience.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I had heard stories of what happened to people. But, at the time, I never thought 'I'm dying.' I didn't know what was happening, until I put the pieces together after the experience. Then I did start to think that maybe it was a near death experience.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real Initially, I ignored it. I was with friends, really embarrassed, not trying to make a big deal out of it. I did not go the hospital. The things that bothered me, were the painful urination pressure feeling and that my head did not hurt at all later or the next day. My friends did not believe me that it didn't hurt. They just kept saying how hard my head seemed to hit the floor. One night a few weeks later, I sat down and went through the memory of that night, trying to remember everything. That was when real fear set in, and I really admitted to myself that 'I almost died'.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I think about it and am fearful of knowing what dying feels like, because it was terrifying. I didn't have an experience of peace as others do.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes I passed out a few years later when I was ill. I hadn't eaten, or drunk any water and had been outside in hot weather. It was similar in the sense I experienced the same feeling of passing out when it happened. This time I felt myself slide down to the ground. I knew people were around me. I could hear them talking to me. And this only lasted about 10 seconds.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I tried to forget about it for most of my life, but as I get older I think about it a lot more. I never became obsessed with the theory of near death experiences. I was a teenager, not mature enough to grasp what really had happened. I never read any books about it. But recently I read some stories of people who were clinically dead for minutes, and it made me want to try to understand my experience.