I had an abortion from someone who was supposed to be a 'nurse'. In fact, two other women had died because of her supposed abortions. I felt terribly, terribly ill. I was in a tremendous amount of pain. Pain everywhere in my body. My partner carried me to the car, and I lay down in the back seat. He started for the hospital. There was a thunderstorm, we stopped at a railroad crossing and it was then:
I felt myself lifting out of my body. I did not see my body below anything or me. The pain subsided and at the same time, I KNEW I was dying. I felt my being, my SELF, being absorbed into what I was later to describe as the arms of God. I experienced the most powerful, profound love and peace. Every hurt, pain, regret, all the negative things of my life were erased, wiped away. They no longer mattered. The only thing I felt was this unbelievable peace and love. The love was so vast, so much greater than anything I had ever experienced here on earth. I have never feared death since. I felt I had been given the greatest gift I could ever receive. The doctors said later that I was so far out there, they didn't think they had a prayer of bringing me back.
Date NDE Occurred: June 1968
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Illegal abortion resulting in systemic infection...one name for it is old fashioned child-bed fever Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) Illegal abortion resulting in severe systemic infection.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal There isn't a way to explain it, as there is no feeling like it here on earth. It was crystal clear. It was like going Home at last, at last. A feeling of belonging, of meaning, of completeness.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? As I was being absorbed into this great realm of love and peace and union.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Can't remember that, but definitely a nothingness as far as time, space just seemed forever and ever.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Void
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm Other worldly love and peace. A feeling of final rest and completeness.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Total relief and joy and union with the Divine.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal Grew up Episcopalian, converted to Catholicism at 19 yrs., followed guru in India for several years, tried Methodist, and Catholic again, looked into Buddhism, finally detached from organized religion.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I think that every path to God is valid, no matter what it may be called. I think the love that God has for every single one of us is beyond description it is so great, so vast and so profound.
What is your religion now? Liberal None
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I think that every path to God is valid, no matter what it may be called. I think the love that God has for every single one of us is beyond description it is so great, so vast and so profound.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes Just that we are not judged. There was no horrible punishment - just LOVE.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I still have a lot of emotional garbage. Still working on these things.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain Even more sensitive to stimuli - sounds, stories, heat, cold. I do feel I have a gift of working with people who are dying. Have done volunteer work with a hospice.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? I had always been terrified of death, of oblivion. I no longer fear death.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I was working at the Edgar Cayce Foundation at the time, and I shared it with a lot of people. It invoked a sense in wonderment in all of us.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I had read about it but others' experiences seemed far more complicated and different from mine. I did not go through a tunnel, or watch my body below, or see a light or meet any beings.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real. It was so clearly in my consciousness. There was no way I could forget it, not ever.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. Because I have never feared death since. I may not like some of the ways we arrive at actual death, but I will never be afraid of death itself.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No