I was thirteen years old. I had been having a difficult time breathing for about three days, but my parents were told that asthma was 'all in my head' so they didn't take me seriously. After three days, my parents took me to the doctor's office. I was lying on a table and everyone was around me. The doctor was saying that 'it was nothing to worry about' when all of a sudden he said ' Oh my God, her lips are turning blue.' I then stopped breathing.
I saw myself looking down at my own body and wondered 'what are they all scared for? Why is everyone running around?' I then felt the most amazing 'LOVE' imaginable. There was peace in my heart. I knew there was a wonderful place for me to go when I was done. There was a bright white light and I felt the most incredible love (peace, forgiveness, tranquility) ever. I knew I was dying and I wanted to go to the light. I was very disappointed when I heard a voice (and I knew it was a higher power) say, 'You are not finished yet. You cannot die. There is so much more you have to do.' I didn't see a review of my life, rather all of a sudden felt an excruciating pain in the middle of my chest. They were doing CPR and I had a broken rib after. I was aware of the oxygen mask on my face and the voices around me. It almost felt like I had been rejected but knew that wasn't what it was - but I was disappointed that I couldn't go to the light. I had been depressed as a teenager because my friend for eight years had turned against me. My parents wanted to immigrate to the USA and I didn't want to. I had more to do and I knew in my heart it was the truth. My life was difficult. I was devastated but knowing I was 'special' made me want to live.
I was SO special that God had told me I had more to do. What else is better than that to make an awkward thirteen-year-old feel important? Nothing else mattered what people thought. God loved me enough to send me back here because what I was going to do was so important. I now teach nursing, I teach others how to care for others and how to make a difference in another person's life.
Date NDE Occurred: 1976
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes severe asthma attack. difficulty breathing for three days followed by unconsciousness and no pulse at doctor's office Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) 'severe asthma attack, no breathing or HR present- respiratory arrest followed by asystole'
Severe asthmatic event. I was unable to breathe for three days, exhaustion, and then cardiac arrest.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal As above.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? After the light came, I felt the most alertness. The acknowledgement that I was not done struck me like lightening. I felt lifted like nothing else I have ever experienced. Like God had lifted me to a higher plane. His message was clear.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Time was still. Time did not matter. What mattered was the love for all beings.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Definitely more brightness than I ever imagined. Everything felt clearer. Purpose was clear. I only saw white, there was no other color.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. The voice I heard was clear, deep tone, not loud, but loud enough to hear, consistent, unwavering, sincere, concerned, loving.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes I felt a tunnel was there but didn't complete the feeling. I saw the light too soon after the tunnel.
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The most beautiful loving light ever imaginable. It was bright but not blinding. Wanted to look at it, couldn't look away.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm there was a kingdom, where everyone loved one another. It didnt matter the color, opinions or sexual orientation. It felt like the same. Not sure if this is what you mean, but that is what it felt. It made me feel the color did not matter. the love was all encompasing.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Yes, I could see from above my body. At first confused as to what was going on. Didn't realize I was above my body. Then I was above my body, and then I saw people around me panic and didn't know why. Why would they panic when I felt so much love? What could be so wrong with that?
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future I knew my life was important, that I had something to do that was important. This was very true as now I am a professor of nursing and I train students to be nurses and to make a difference in the world. We need nurses who truly care and can sacrifice for the needs of their patients.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal Not really religious at all. Rarely attending church. If I did it was protestant
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No I was brought up in a family that was spilt. My father was Catholic, my mother Protestant, but they believed that I should choose my own beliefs. I believe in a higher power.
What is your religion now? Liberal Since NDE I have believed in Christ/God
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No I was brought up in a family that was spilt. My father was Catholic, my mother Protestant, but they believed that I should choose my own beliefs. I believe in a higher power.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I was special as I was spoken to. The purpose of my reason on earth was to make a difference in others' lives. It is not about material things or our egos, but what we can do for others. My pulse was to take what I have learned and to pass it on to others. I have been a labor and delivery Registered Nurse for twenty years. My purpose was to make sure that the compassion for helping mothers deliver newborns continues. My teaching others how to be nurses continues.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I don't see things as being selfish, but rather what another can see to do for others. I see more as a give and take. If someone is selfish they will never find the true meaning of life.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? No
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain More in tune with my mother who has passed. Would like more but don't think that as the reason for my experience.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The part that said 'You are not done,' and 'There are many things that you must do.'
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I was embarrassed at first making my mother swear she would not tell others. My mom was the only one that knew for over twenty-five years. I told a very dear friend who is a Registered Nurse. She was very touched and believed a hundred percent. She loves God and says I am very special. It gave her encouragement to keep going and doing what she is doing. It gave her more confidence in God and revived her faith in the Lord.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It was a significant change in my life. I felt special. I was chosen to make a difference to others. Life is not measured in what we change in ourselves but what we can change in others. I didn't care what others thought (important when you are thirteen year old).
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real As a life changing event. Made me view life differently. It is not selfish. It is about what you can do for others. The difference that it makes. The love that is given.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No Nothing can ever replicate what I experienced. No drug, no substances will ever do what happened to me.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? It is indeed special. It is what keeps me going through the great obstacles I have. It is not for the weak of heart. It is a message given to those who have the strength to believe it and to hopefully relate it to others. When my mother passed away, I said to her, 'Go to the light, for it is a blessing. God loves you and you should not be afraid.' Being able to say that and believe it is the best gift, I have ever been given. Knowing my mother was indeed loved and safe makes me feel very special.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? No, I feel you touched on most things. It is a thing that is hard to express. Sometimes it feels like a 'feeling'. You just know when it's right. Does that make sense?