This is difficult for me to discuss or even write down. I was a fifteen and at a party with other kids. I drank at the party an excessive amount. I passed out from the drinking. At that point, someone at the party was trying to be funny and poured straight Vodka into my mouth, which I drank while I was passed out. After a bit, the people at the party began to worry and I was taken to the hospital. I had stopped breathing a couple of times and they did a blood transplant on me.While I was out, this is what I experienced. I was drunk and having fun. The next thing I know I am in a black void. Completely conscious and more aware than I have ever been. I was not in my body. I was in a void. It was completely black and I had never felt so alone. There was no floor, walls, or light of any kind. It felt like I was falling but without wind or any other senses. I reflected on my life but in a way without any images in my mind. It was self-reflection with a sort of inner dialog with myself. I have never felt so alone or disconnected.I sprung back and woke up with a doctor over me telling me what a lucky kid I was. I went from being completely conscious and alert to being confused and uncoordinated. This experience has left an awful feeling in my life. I remember it very well and it makes me even sad to think about it.
Date NDE Occurred: 1982
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No Criminal attack. Drug or medication overdose. Other: I stopped breathing and had a blood transfusion
How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely distressing
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? No
I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal There was not any distraction on my senses whatsoever. Odd feeling of pure thought.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? It felt like I became very conscious in an instant and left the same way.
Were your thoughts speeded up? No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Time seemed not to matter.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It was like I was thinking and processing information in my mind with just me and no other stimulation.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It was like I could hear my thoughts. But that was all I heard.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Void
The experience included: Darkness
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No
Did you see an unearthly light? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm It is hard to describe other than a black void with no obvious physical body.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Extreme sadness.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? No
Did you have a feeling of joy? No
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? No
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No
Did scenes from your past come back to you? I remembered many past events
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? No
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Slightly important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Secular unaffiliated
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Not important to me
What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Nothing in particular- Religious unaffiliated I believe we don't know what happens after death. Either Heaven or hell. I don't think we can know.
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I was young and went to church. My experience makes me think there is no god and that being dead is horrible beyond words.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? Unknown
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? Unknown
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? Unknown
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? Unknown No
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I moderately feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I greatly fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are not meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Uncertain Love did not seem to matter. Another odd feeling I felt.
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? No changes in my life There have been no changes in my life.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No No
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I get emotional thinking about it. It was very disturbing and sad.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience It feels like I can relive the experience at a greater level of awareness than while I am currently alive.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The feeling of being alone.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I have on a few occasions shared this. It is very hard for me to talk about.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It felt more real than sitting here today typing this on the computer.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I can still feel the exact feelings I had when it happened.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
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