I was three years old at the time and it is now 60 years later, but I see it before me as if it had happened yesterday. This experience has remained with me as a warm consoling memory throughout my life.As a result of untreated pneumonia, I finally became unconscious. It was a relief; rest at last. While I was enjoying this, I was forced through the pillow on the bed toward a powerful bright light. There was a sort of rose colored half-globe as a suggestion of a sort of world, the rest was bright light. There was a kind of consciousness which was kindly reassuring but somewhat distanced. I was not allowed to stay. After a short time, I was pulled through the pillow again which brought back the pain. I felt the pain of penicillin injections. These injections were awful and contained in a huge glass and chrome syringe administered to your thigh by a sadistic sister. With all her strength she shot the syrupy penicillin through the thick needle and into the muscle and then calmly watched as the plunger of the syringe was forced back by the muscle. Then she would re-inject and re-inject again until finally nothing returned. I still vividly remember the pain of the injections and the light under the pillow.
Date NDE Occurred: 1955
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Illness. Other longontsteking na kinkhoest, hoge koorts, daardoor buiten kennis
As a young child of three, I had whooping cough. I can remember that very well: the exhausting cough causing near unconsciousness, the stuffiness, the anxiety, the pain. Because I was not treated for the cough, it turned into pneumonia with the associated high fever. This felt actually like a relief; no longer the horrid cough cramps but a numb floating sensation instead. In truth it was the then fairly recently discovered penicillin which saved my life.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing
Did you feel separated from your body? No
I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I can still bring the experience very clearly to mind as if it happened yesterday so it must have been quite intense for me.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I was surrounded by the light.
Were your thoughts speeded up? No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
The feeling was as if a second could be 1000 years long, as if time didn't exist.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? No
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. The light was much clearer and more intense than any I had ever seen, yet I could look at it.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. No different.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
The experience included: Tunnel
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain It felt like I was pulled through my pillow by an irresistible force. Under the pillow, it was dark but shortly thereafter was bright light.
Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Void
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes It was stronger and clearer than any light, but yet I could look into it. It was acceptably warm.
The experience included: A landscape or city
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place It was not the earth but a sort of cartoon of it. It was the suggestion of infinity in a well-known context.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Alienation, confusion, disbelief. The sense that, 'this is impossible'
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness
Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Unknown
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Uncertain
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Moderately important to me
What is your religion now? Christian- Catholic
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience Although, I don't quite understand the question.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Uncertain I was a young child so I don't know.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I sensed their presence
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Uncertain I don't know because I was a young child.
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? Unknown
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Uncertain I didn't want to talk about my experience because I was afraid it would be put to reason. Nevertheless, I had the idea that I had experienced something special.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Unknown
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? Unknown
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists No
Did you fear death prior to your experience? Unknown
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Unknown
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Unknown
During your experience, did you gain information about love? No
Were you compassionate after your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Unknown
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Uncertain I was a young child, I don't know.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I was a kid of age three and was not taken seriously. As a child, I understood this so I didn't try to be insistent regarding the experience.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience as accurately as other life events that occurred around the time of the experience.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The feeling of peace, relaxation and acceptance has always remained with me.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Finally, after ten years I shared the experience. The reactions were somewhat lukewarm.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real Shortly after it happened, I had the feeling it was in another reality. That's why I couldn't nor wouldn't talk about it. I was afraid others might put it to the light of reason.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I still remember it in detail sixty years later. It is the reason that I can think openly about my life and death. It is the reason I have no anxiety about death. I will not yet die but if I eventually must, I will be thankful for the life I had.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Uncertain
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I was a very young child, so some questions seem a bit irrelevant to me. This happened sixty years ago, so it is possible time may have colored the event. Even so, the filling in of this form brings back emotions; oddly during this time, I had a bit of a return of the coughing episodes. My doctor gave me some antibiotics.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I find the questionnaire a bit hard to answer because of slightly confusing Dutch translation. I suppose I should have asked for an English one.
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