I had been invited to a party and arrived with another friend some time prior to 11:00 pm. It was at another friend's home. He had neglected to pay his water bill, so his water service had been turned off. I remember the water service because of my intense thirst, which is mentioned a little later.
The beer, pot, and alcohol were flowing freely until around 2:00 am. I drank five to six bottles of beer along with two or three shots of whiskey. I let the friend I had arrived with know that I was ready to head home, anytime. I took a seat. Within five minutes, I began to experience an unusual thirst. I got up from my seat to search for any kind of liquid. I remember standing in the kitchen, once again asking to go home. All of a sudden, I experienced an intense pain across my chest. The last thing I remember before I left my body was falling backwards onto the floor.
I don't know how I knew, but I understood I'd had a heart attack, died, and left my body behind. All of a sudden, I was traveling through a tunnel at extreme speed - so fast that I had a sickening feeling. Before I could adjust, I found myself in a very ornate light-filled room with a throne that was very high up.
Once again, I had a sickening feeling, but one of a different kind. I wanted desperately to hide from the presence of God, but there was no place to go to get away from his presence. I was shown a review of my entire life, with joys, difficulties, sorrows, and everything in between. I saw myself being very kind to several people. I also heard unkind words I had spoken to others. I witnessed being ignored, and ignoring others. I was shown a love that had not worked out. I reviewed how others had abused me, which I didn't want to 'see.'
I really wasn't hearing words. It was more like telepathic communication, but there was no mistaking what was being communicated. I had no problem with understanding. God was not pleased by my life of alcohol and drugs. (Several times, I had almost died because of prescription drugs.) I was shown a place of intense horror. I was not seeing with my eyes, but in some other way. Just before being consumed, I was guided away by a kindly person I knew to be Christ Jesus.
I was comforted and shown information that would be wiped from my mind until a future time. I found myself in the presence of many people that I 'knew'. I was surrounded by unconditional love, and, for lack of a better word, I was 'home'. Then I was told to return to my life and assured that everything would work out. I resisted leaving by using my thoughts. At first, those around me gently tried to urge me to return. I communicated that I needed to stay. Then these people I knew and loved, pleaded with me to return, and they were urgent. One by one, they approached me in a final attempt. I could see that I was causing them discomfort of some kind - unknown, but understood, by me. I could not harm these people. It seemed they had come to see me, but I could not go back with them at this time. I couldn't go beyond a certain point. I understood that I would see and be with all my 'relatives' and 'friends' at a future time. I must return and complete a prepared task, or work, that will change others. (The work and change may be hardly noticeable, but it is work and change that God desires to take place.)
Just before entering the tunnel, it dawned on me that everyone I had just been with had passed away. I was rather shocked by this realization. Back through the tunnel, I traveled at a very great speed. My first sensation was of myself taking the deepest breath I had ever taken, before or since. My chest expanded to its limit, and someone was about to pound with both fists on my chest. Everyone was talking at once, telling me they were just about to call an ambulance. I heard, 'We thought you had a heart attack.' I barely had the strength to talk. I asked for a towel because I was sweating profusely. I couldn't move on my own, so they moved me to a sofa.
My life didn't change overnight, but over time, my life did start to take shape. It took another fourteen years before I returned to the Church.
Date NDE Occurred: October 1978
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No People thought I had a heart attack. No pulse for three minutes. My own father passed from life with a massive heart attack at a young age. Several in attendance were aware of my family history. Other People thought I had a heart attack. No pulse for approximately two minutes. My own father passed from life with a massive heart attack at a young age. Several in attendance were aware of my family history.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal While in God's presence - that was when I felt my highest level of consciousness and alertness. I felt ashamed that he was so good to me, and I had let him down with my selfishness. Through this whole ordeal, my consciousness was 'awakened.'
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? That was while was in God's presence. I felt ashamed that he was so good to me, and I had let him down with my selfishness. Through this whole ordeal, my consciousness was 'awakened.' This experience happened thirty-five years ago, but in my mind, the details are as clear as ever.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
I cannot explain.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I was able to see people and things, but in a much different way than every day. The experience was more than just visual. I was able to gather physical information accurately, with intense clarity.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes I didn't like the tunnel. I have never been fond of amusement-park rides, and the tunnel was much more intense and much faster. This was how I arrived and also how I departed.
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I met Jesus, who calmed my fears and reassured me that all would work out for the best. He introduced me to the people I met, and then went away, but not far.
The experience included: Light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The light was ahead of me in the tunnel and also in the throne room. This light was different from all other light.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm Nothing beyond what I have written.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt the full range of my emotions in no particular order: joy, love, disappointment with others and myself, total relaxation, dread, fear, contentment, peace, agitation, comfort.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
The experience included: Life review
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I became all too aware of the negative. The past is no longer important. Some of my life problems were connected to my inability to let go of the past. The love I show in the present is the important part of life.
The experience included: Vision of the future
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future I received information which I was informed I would not be able to remember later. However, I would remember it when I needed to remember.
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes When I tried to stay with the people I knew, it was understood that I could not follow them and that they had to leave.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Conservative/fundamentalist At the time of NDE I was separated from the Church.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I now know that all humans are worthy of love, because each person has choices to make that have far reaching effects. Love is what survives beyond this life. I now understand that God is so much bigger than I had previously thought. No wonder Jesus gave his disciples the command to love one another.
What is your religion now? Conservative/fundamentalist I happen to be a Christian first and foremost. I am a member of the Advent Christian Conference.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I now know that all humans are worthy of love, because each person has choices to make that have far reaching effects. Love is what survives beyond this life. I now understand that God is so much bigger than I had previously thought. No wonder Jesus gave his disciples the command to love one another.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes Love is what lasts beyond the physical world.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes The people I had surrounded myself with slowly faded away as a result of my NDE. I happened to tell a few people about my experience, and many of those people looked at me differently, not wanting to be in my company any more. In the present, I am more close to those I love.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes At the time, I was afraid to express it, because I thought that people would think I was extremely unbalanced. There was much communication in my NDE, but words were not exchanged. So, it was hard to express the meanings of those wordless communications by using words. I had no difficulty understanding everyone. If I had to choose one word to describe how thoughts, emotions, and ideas were communicated, I would use the word 'telepathy.'
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I sometimes have vivid dreams of future personal events. Sometimes I know what will happen just moments prior to the event, but it's never about anything extremely important. And at times, I will know what someone is about to say.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? When Jesus calmed my fears, it was so meaningful. Also, the people I met were meaningful to me. Some of those people were ancestors whom I had never met in life - but I only understood this later.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Almost right away. Their reaction was not positive. After that, for a long time, I kept all this to myself. Years later I shared my experience with a few select friends.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real From the start I knew that the experience was 'definitely real.' Definitely real!
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I'm still sure that the experience was 'definitely real.' As it concerns the trajectory of my life, I had been headed in the wrong direction - fast. Instead of being productive in society, I was thinking only of myself. I was bitter, hurt, and resentful. There were reasons for my negative feelings and thinking, but my life had no meaning or purpose. I was defeated and as good as dead. God shocked me into seeing beyond myself. Because of this experience, I have found that the only meaning in life is in how we love others in the present.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Interestingly, I have had a reoccurring dream, vividly detailed, of visiting a large New England farm. The people on the farm are known to me and I to them, but I can't seem to remember who they are. I stay for an extended period of time in my own bedroom. When it is time to leave, I hug each one. Everyone, including myself, seems to know when the visit has reached its ending. They tell me to come again. I'm sad to go, but know I will eventually return. I think my dream of the farm is connected to my NDE. I revealed my NDE to a good friend. When I mentioned the dream, she stopped me and finished my story, telling me she has the same dream.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I cannot think of anything, with the exception of minor details I could add.