Experience Description

This is where I wish I had voice recognition software! Ok, here goes:

I was driving a beater car and I lost control of the vehicle. The car rolled several times at an elongated diagonal down a sloped embankment. I felt as if my dead father was there holding my head as I was like a quarter in a box being shook about.

The next thing I knew I was in a flying dream. I was flying so great! I have had flying dreams since I can recall and this was different because I could still fly even when I thought about flying, I did not descend or land when I analyzed the flight, I just continued to fly. When I tried to fly higher I went higher, when I tried to go forward I was slower and when I tried to go down I couldn't, so when I tried to stop I realized that I was gently being pulled upward.

That is when it occurred to me that something was going on, I was not dreaming. I looked around me at the tops of the fir trees, around at the space between me and the grass and the road. I looked up at the sky ahead of me and realized that everything was in sharp focus, I could see better than with my glasses. Then I felt the cold April air on me, the warmth of the morning sun, and how it was warming the cool morning air. That is when I looked down.

I saw my car upside down and my head kind of out from under it, the car was slanted on top of me with my head a ways out of the broken driver's side window. I thought if that's down there then what's up there?

My astral body rolled and looked upward.

What I saw could be described as a vortex. There was a hole in the sky surrounded by clouds and lightning like plasma. Within the hole were stars but, not the stars we see outside our atmosphere at night rather, the center of the universe. Like a galaxy swirling around the most brilliant light one could imagine. It was what I perceive to be the source. Just outside the hole were light orbs going in and out of the hole, they were different brightnesses, colors, and shapes.

At that point, I prostrated and said or, rather thought, Oh my G-d - you are! I bowed and became as tight as I could within myself, as I understood that I had been ignorant.

Some background:

I had known since I was born that G-d existed. I used to play a game with G-d when I was small, just before going to sleep I would ask how big is the universe and I would close my eyes and travel as far as I could before I would find myself asleep. I remember traveling far and understanding that the universe was infinite and it would bend my mind a bit as a child. I was gifted in mathematics as a child and had high comprehension levels. I did long division by age six and had prophetic dreams since I could talk.

When I was eight, I dreamed my family's death. I dreamed they would die in an accident while traveling to Nevada and I told them and they did not listen. All the adults in my life told me it was just a dream and I wanted to believe them because I did not want my parents to die. When their plane crashed, I was psychically and emotionally, not to mention spiritually, devastated. I thought G-d to be cruel to give me such dreams but have no control over the outcome and then to top it off I could not clearly decipher reality so clearly anymore and I asked for it to stop.

I had several more phenomenal experiences between that age and my accident. In the meantime, I went through a series of very traumatic events and separations and horrible trials that no child should have to deal with. It made me forget about G-d and my connection with G-d. I began using drugs and partying and harming others and myself through my actions.

Back to my experience:

While prostrating I was shown my life in review from G-d's perspective, the truth. I was shown every time I had been selfish, choosing for my own interests. I was shown every time I had been divisive or manipulative for selfish gains. I then felt that pain several folds over. It was like a beam into my solar plexus and it was so painful I was consumed by it and it was like all my force had the wind knocked out. I'm not a bad person, I cannot imagine what it would be like if I had been violent or committed other trespasses against my fellows. My guess is a review like that would be hell.

At this point, a being made of light came to my side. I was not raised religious nor was I baptized. I could be wrong but it felt like what people call Christ. It was not the Christ we see in paintings or pictures. It was not the Christ we hear about from evangelicals. It was not America's Christ nor any other representation of Christ I have come across. This was a being so pure, so benevolent, and so non-judgmental I could barely comprehend the level of compassion this being possessed in the small yet brilliant light that it was. Not until it touched me and said 'I'll take that, it's for me,' and took the beam from me and touched me, was I even able to fathom this amazing love.

His light seemed to go dim for an 'instant' and the beam disappeared then 'he' then 'said', 'You are forgiven. You were flesh and with flesh, is biology and psychology and instinct and desire and mechanism and ego and the serving there of. To be flesh is to sin and that is the nature of being. There is no fault in being human.' This made me relax like I have yet to feel since.

That is when I recognized that he was a part of the greater light and in a way a custodian of our planet, kind of like he was assigned to it, it was his to 'rule' and watch over, to guide and protect and to love and nurture. Yet, this being was more than he appeared to be to me in that moment, this was just what I could comprehend at this time. I recognized this. I got really excited and started asking questions like a small child.

What about aliens? And parallel universes and life on other planets and UFOs, and, and, and...

That's when I perceived a great yet quiet chuckle of amusement and like a pat on the head; I was given the source into the top of my head. It was like a giant stream and when my head was stuck inside of it, I could see from the beginning of the beginning of the beginning of everything and nothing. I saw the entirety of the universe from its big bang to big stop to big bang and to big stop; I had the memory of the universe. I understood cosmology, biology, spiritualism, consciousness, being, non-being, physics, mathematics, I knew everything there is to know and un-know.

G-d is everything that can ever be and everything that can never be at the same time and I am human so I can only understand it in human terms. Even the best of humanity is still human and everything will be anthropomorphic. It's like a chair looking at a table and thinking that it sees a strange chair with no back. The chair may never know it is a chair yet it will still function as a chair. It may never question that it is a chair or look beyond its chair-ness and yet it will be a chair just the same.

I used to ask when I was around fourteen; if G-d can do anything can he make a rock so heavy he cannot lift it? Yes. No. At the same time. All at once. And nothing at all.

After this great revealing, I realized that I was out of place and that I had a body and it occurred that if I did not return to said body it would cease to function since I was the thing that pushed it forward in time and space.

At this point, I said thanks and sorry for interrupting the great story and that I'm eternally grateful and all but I gotta go back. Something told me that I had to take full responsibility for what I had done.

I quickly assembled myself the best I could and whooshed back to beside the light being (Christ) and then 'Jumped' like a salmon going upstream back to my body.

When I got back in, I entered through the top of my head and like an airtight vessel closing, it went WHOOOMP with a great force.

It was like trying to fit a super computer inside of an Amiga! It just wouldn't fit. I had a moment of departure and let go of some of my understanding so I could quickly get back into my vessel. I knew that I would be able to rejoin later and that it would be waiting for me whenever I went back but, for now, I had a job to do! So I climbed back in.

It was cold, quiet, there was no electricity or plumbing, and it seemed to be like a great big empty house that had been left, it seemed echo-y and dark. I almost panicked but determination kicked in.

I traveled through my spinal cord to my extremities. I went down my right leg no problem. I tried to go down my left leg but there was no connection to my leg. I came up through my viscera and into my heart, circled my ribcage, down my arms and back into my brain.

I went to my medulla oblongata or what I perceived to be the center of my brain and like a captain, I threw the switches. I said o.k. brain, let's get this body going. I told my heart to pump and my blood to flow but to clot at my hip. I then tried to breathe. A great whistling came from my breath. When I tried to open my eyes all I saw was blood, a sheet of sticky red paste was covering my eyes. I blinked and cleared it away. I then tried to move and a sound like a bag of stones rattled up my spine into my head and my brain and I stopped moving.

I could hear the buzzing of the door being open with the keys still in the ignition and the static of the radio still playing. It was eerie. I looked around and saw a trooper near me. I looked at him and he was crying. He said 'I thought you were dead.' I said 'Don't worry, I just talked to G-d, everything is going to be alright'.


He held my hand and I looked at his hat, you know the one that looks kind of like a cowboy hat? I said to him, 'You're my hero,' and he said I was his.

I told him that I was tired and he said 'NO! Talk to me, you have to stay awake. Tell me what G-d said.'

I told him that the accident was all my fault and I asked about my friends.

He said they were going to be ok. Then he told me that happened.

The sound of the buzzing and the radio and the sky all made me dizzy and I almost fainted. I heard the ambulance arriving.

They were preparing to use the Jaws of Life but I protested. I had a bad feeling about that thing, like it would kill me. I climbed out myself. My left leg grinded and twisted in tow of my body.

They got me into the back of the rig and an IV and oxygen and the trooper was by my side. He held my hand and told me I could sleep now.


X-rays, heart monitors, lights, needles, masks, noises, blood, beeping, talking, Latin, math, and law. Dizziness. Pain.


I was in intensive care unit for thirty-six hours in and out of consciousness. I had an epidural of morphine and I swore there were spiders everywhere. There were definitely nuns and a priest. They kept coming in and praying and the priest gave me last rights at least three times while they waited for my mom to arrive.

I hovered above my head most of the time watching all of it like a circus. Every time they would start with the last rights I would get back in my body and say, 'Stop that, I'm not dead yet.'

My spirit knew everything was ok but my body thought differently. I know that my body thought it would die several times but my spirit refused to believe any of that nonsense and just kept post.

One quiet moment I opened my eyes to see a crucifix across the room. I started to laugh to myself. I said, 'You're not up there, get off there, come down off that cross. Why do they do that? Why do they keep you up there? They want to keep you there? That's so silly, you're silly, come down off that cross!'

Just then Christ was there, made of light.

He looked so beautiful, just like a Jew. Long dark curling locks and a handsome face with big brown eyes and a prominent nose and jaw-line. He wore a monk's cloth robe tied with rope fiber. Nothing fancy but filled with the most brilliant light you can imagine. He smiled knowingly looking concerned.

I started! 'Whoa! That is so cool how you do that! How do you just do that? You're here? How are you here? You were there and now you're here? You heard me? That's so great how you can do that. Like poof, you're here! You're awesome! Thanks! Now what?'

'Now you have to live the truth.'

'That's it? That's easy, I can do that. I did what you said; I told the truth and took responsibility. I can do it.'

'I know, ' he said it like he was proud of me. 'It won't always be easy, it may be the hardest thing you'll ever do.' He looked at the cross.

All of a sudden, it made sense to me.

He touched my hand and a warmth spread through my body. I stayed in my body and was stabilized.

They sent me to Minneapolis to have my experimental groundbreaking surgery that would set precedence for a new type of bone reconstruction procedure by the great Dr. Templeman (funny, huh? Temple-man?).

I spent five weeks in hospital and was released to a nursing home to recover for six months.

I used to write in my journal, 'To stand will be to hold my heart; to walk will be to move my spirit and to dance will be to claim my soul.'

I stood six months later, I walked at nine months and I dance today without pain.

G-d is.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 'April 23, 1995'

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) I rolled my car several times and it landed atop me, crushing my left hip into over seventy pieces, fracturing my left ribs that came out my back and punctured my left lung, I was bleeding out my eyes when I finally opened them.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal As above.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Towards the end, right before I came back.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning It seemed a lot was shown to me in a short amount of time.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Spiritual.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Telepathic.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain See main narrative.

The experience included: Presence of deceased persons

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes See main narrative.

The experience included: Darkness

The experience included: Light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes See main narrative.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm see above

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Every emotion known to spirit.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

The experience included: Special Knowledge

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

The experience included: Life review

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control See main narrative.

The experience included: Vision of the future

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future But, I cannot remember them.

The experience included: Boundary

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No My body would die.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal 'No formal religion, not baptized'

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes G-d is love and anything else is crap.

What is your religion now? Liberal I don't know what to call it. Every spiritual path has a truth but I have yet to come across one that has the truth...

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes G-d is love and anything else is crap.

The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes See main narrative.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I cannot act small to please others.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes But then, I am verbose. I have enjoyed finding words and creating new vocabulary to describe what happened to me.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes Even more gifts! I can see into the body holographic when I palpate for assessment and treatment of tissues. When I work on someone, I will sometimes see the trauma that is causing the pain either physical, emotional or spiritual. I can travel into other people's dreams (dream walk) I am clairvoyant about some things. I have a highly tuned intuition. I am very intelligent and a conceptual learner, it's like when I learn something I am just remembering it. I feel people and how they orient within their reality, their level of connectedness.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The whole thing!

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I began talking about it right away. I told the doctors to do their job and let me take care of the healing because they kept telling me I wouldn't walk normal again. I am compelled to share my experience and to help others. Sometimes it backfires and alienates others or myself but I chalk it up to others not being ready to hear such things. Some people want to feel better, some want to get well.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Uncertain Not really but I believed in them?

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I went in and out of awareness of what had happened. When I was stuck, I was depressed by my situation and what I had caused. When I was aware of the gift I was given I was uplifted.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real It has changed my life and I have been on the path to self-actualization ever since. I want to help heal the world.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No Nothing compares nor will ever replicate what happened.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Is there anything else to add?

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Contact me with anything I can do, I would love to help you with this project! This is some of the most important information as we begin to tap into our true potential here on earth.