Brian P NDE

Experience Description

It was Christmas eve 2004. I was vacuuming at the time and had a heart attack. I can remember a paramedic talking to me but I also felt that I was slipping away. I heard loud hissing in my ears that became like the sound of a loud waterfall. I remember saying that I could not hear him anymore then, pop!

I was in a black place that did not feel like a tunnel but was vastly open. I was moving to a 'light' that was not bright but it was golden-soft like a cloud at sunset. I mostly remember the peaceful feeling with no panic; just calm in my mind. I also remember thinking, 'I guess I get to find out what happens now.' I knew I was dead and had no body anymore. I realized that I was not breathing now and also thought about the fact that I was dead and did not care. I was actually quite calm and in a state of wonder. I thought about the 'cloud' I could see. I wondered why I could see at all. I wondered how fast I was moving as there was no point of reference, but I could feel I was moving for sure. I remember coming to the 'cloud.'

The next thing I remember was waking up in intensive care 12 hours later. I have no recollection of anything that happened after the cloud, only feelings and some weird sense of knowing something I am not allowed to remember. I do know my life changed a lot after that. I remember telling my boss who was waiting or visiting, was 'All that stuff we have doesn't mean anything.' I had a good job and made $70,000 a year, had a house, nice car, all the 'stuff'. My core beliefs changed, and I do not know why. I did not knowingly change but I did. There actually was a newspaper article about me in the St. Albert Gazette about my heart attack. It was so bad.

My doctor calls me Lazareth because he said I should not have survived.

I have fundamentally changed to my core. I ended up teaching in an orphanage in South East Asia for no pay, living off my own savings. Angry at the greed of this world. But before I lived in the very same greed and enjoyed it. So, no chat with God that I can remember, no visits with dead family nothing like that. A sure memory of what happened at the point of passing and a complete change of my life afterwards.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: dec 24, 2004

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Heart attack. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function) Massive heart attack, four resuscitations, dead for 12 minutes

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? No I lost awareness of my body

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I can't say, except the awareness of everything was heightened.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Travelling to the cloud

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Time had no meaning

Were your senses more vivid than usual? More vivid than usual

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It felt the same

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Heard nothing after the pop.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain Do not think it was a tunnel but actually the opposite, like a vast expanse.

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

The experience included: Unearthly light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Soft but a bright golden cloud

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt calm, peace and no worries. I felt relaxed.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? No

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about myself or others I understand that we are all from the same energy

Did scenes from your past come back to you? No

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future I do have some vivid dreams now. I dreamt of the earthquake in Tibet one week before it happened. I also dreamt of the aftershock in South Thailand and Malaysia. Crazy, eh?

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:


What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Not important to me

What was your religion prior to your experience? Buddhist not practising. at the time, just general beliefe.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I meditate now, spend time inside of myself and try unsuccessfully, to feel the same calm.

What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Moderately important to me

What is your religion now? Buddhist now practising.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I was aware. Did not see god, felt connected with something like an awareness of others but nothing I have ever experienced in life.

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes Compassion and fairness is overwhelmingly important now.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes I felt a , brotherhood, oneness with something.

Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God probably does not exist

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No

Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? I am uncertain if God exists

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:


During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I have a feeling I do, but not 'allowed' to remember.

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No

Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? I was uncertain if an afterlife exists

Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes No question there is more.

Did you fear death prior to your experience? I moderately feared death

Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death

Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life

Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others

During your experience, did you gain information about love? No

Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Everything I believed in changed. Compassion has replaced greed. Everything I believed in changed. Compassion has replaced greed.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes People I knew, think I am too giving now. I do not stay around greed now.

After the NDE:


Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes It was more 'feeling' than anything else was. A lot of wonder and such calm and peace you could not imagine. But I was completely awake and thinking. You Do Not Go To Oblivion.

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of th I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of th

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes Dreams that come true, animals do not fear me; they always come to me now.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? All of this is important.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Some think it is interesting, some think it is not. I really do not care. I know what I experienced.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It was real.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real As before, it was real.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No