Experience Description

I was a very serious athlete all of my life and knew my body very intimately. I knew my injuries and the physical limits I could reach in different sports and activities. I was practicing with my softball team and noticed that all of my muscles were hurting. I was having trouble running and I had no power when I was hitting the ball. This was very odd, as I had always hit with power. The next day, I made an appointment with my doctor to discuss this. The prior situation was extremely out of character for me. My doctor wanted to do blood work and get back to me. The following Tuesday, I received a phone call from him. This was very unusual since his nurse was always the one to call if there was something to be done or to let me know everything was okay. He quickly told me that my creatine kinase enzymes were at 27,000 when they should only be at a three-figure number [the normal range for creatine kinase enzymes is 32-267 units per litre of blood]. The doctor told me to leave work right then and to check myself into hospital. That this phone call had indeed happened and that the urgency was clear, compelled me to obey. I left work and checked into the hospital at 3:30pm. Three hours later, I suffered the first of the six heart attacks I would experience over a four-day period.

When I suffered the first heart attack, I had been talking with my roommate and his wife. Apparently, I just stopped talking. They knew something was wrong then, and called for a nurse and the crash cart [a medical trolley set up with the emergency equipment required to assist in heart attack cases]. I was out for a couple of minutes before they brought me back.

The following morning, I was talking and sitting up as the doctor was telling me what they were going to do as far as tests go. As my family and I listened, I experienced a cold feeling, knew that I was going to pass out and fell back against my pillow. Again, I was gone for a couple of minutes before they could pull me back. During this attack, I was aware that something was wrong and a lot of people were in the room. Now the doctor said that they needed to get me into the intensive care unit. During the periods that I was awake, I felt okay and was conversing with my family. My cell phone rang and I answered it to find it was one of my supervisors calling to see how I was doing. As we were talking, I got that cold feeling again and told my supervisor that I had to go and handed the phone to a nurse as I began to take a laid out position.

This time, the experience was much more involved in that I knew I was clinically dead and floating just above the bed by a few inches. After one hit with the paddles [of a heart defibrillator that gives a high-voltage electric shock to the person having a heart attack, in order to restore the heart’s beating rhythm], I was now in my bedroom in the house where I was last married. I felt that I had done something wrong and asked my then-wife (now my ex), why there were so many medical people in our bedroom.

Another shock with the paddles and I was in a black void with nothing but my thoughts. I thought I wasn't going to come back from this one and my thoughts told me I was gone from this world. Then I was given a full-strength shock with the paddles and found myself awake but very groggy. I was stable for a couple of minutes, when again, I went out and flat-lined this time. I was out for a long time and could sense that everyone in the room was worried. Again, another full strength shock from the paddles brought me back. Once I had stabilized, the medical team began putting syringes full of medicine into my intravenous drip. I felt odd. I don't know how else to explain it but I was not myself. My family told me that they were very scared and concerned for my wellbeing. That was the end of that day.

The next day was uneventful. I felt much more myself and didn't hurt. I was told that this was because I had been given a painkiller along with my intravenous drip.

The next day was the life-changing experience from all of this. I was talking to one of the intensive care unit nurses when (she later revealed) I went limp. Again, I was out for a long time. I remember hearing voices but I did not know where they were coming from. I was in that black void again with my thoughts. I began to believe that the soul was the piece of the puzzle that made me. I didn't feel pain or sorrow but was curious about where I really was. It took them a while to get me back and I remember feeling like I was being tested by the Lord. As I regained consciousness, I saw a very scared look on my favorite nurse’s face and I also began to get a little scared. After all, this had been a four-day affair and they appeared to have no idea what was going on.

Now for the life-changing experience: This time I was above, looking at myself while a nurse was giving orders in a very stern voice and a lot of paper was being ripped open and thrown to the floor. They were putting syringes one after another into my intravenous drip. There were a lot of people around the bed moving very quickly doing their respective jobs. I continued to watch myself not responding to them.

Suddenly, I was in the most serene place I had ever been in my life. I was happy and I didn't feel any pain. I actually didn't feel a physical body at all. It was beautiful in that the sun was shining, and I felt as though I was floating with the clouds in the most peace I had ever experienced. Without voice, the Lord asked me if I was happy with what I had accomplished in my life and did I want to stay. I have to be honest and say that I really did want to stay. I didn't feel any of the aches and pains I had from back surgery previously nor the frustrations I felt in everyday life. I thought about it though and then told him I had unfinished business back there on earth.

I had a 10-year-old son that I needed to raise and protect from the psychological and emotional battering he would receive from his mentally ill mother. She was a functioning psychotic, alcoholic and in general, a messed-up woman. In an instant, I was literally slammed back to my bed, awake and receiving the paddles at full strength.

I raised myself up just a little bit higher than they had me (they had one paddle on my chest and the other on my back). I spoke to the nurse that was on the right side, saying, ‘Please don't do that again!’ She shouted that I was back; looking both relieved and exhausted. I heard somebody laughing at my response and the air in the room became much more relaxed.

The medical team had called for the chaplain and he was with my mother and father as well as my ex-wife. Later, my mother told me that she was so sure that I was gone, that she went numb and couldn't respond to the news that I had returned.

Ever since those four days, I have felt that my wiring has been seriously messed up. I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder, along with depression and anxiety. This was, in part, because the doctors never figured out what was causing these attacks so they made the decision to put a pacemaker in my chest (for insurance). Not knowing why I had those attacks really troubled me and I have flashbacks to that last day when so much was going on. Sometimes I experience these flashbacks for a couple of hours and then sometimes they will haunt me for a couple of days. Watching similar experiences on television gives me a jolt of PTSD and I have to get up and leave the room.

Background Information:

Gender: Male

Date NDE Occurred: June 27 2006 to July 7 2006

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Heart attack Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) Multiple heart attacks over a period of four days in 2006.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes There was a flow of energy and extensive knowledge that I immediately felt. This flow of energy had its own ‘music’, if you will, but it was not in the normal way of hearing. I could see all around my lifeless body. I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal The serene feeling that I was home and I could remember everything from my life and could sense that I was free from all of the stressors of everyday life. I felt I was going to be with my grandparents and my favorite cat and I could communicate without speaking. All of this contributed to an alertness I had never felt before.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I was in the presence of the Lord having our conversation. Also, to a lesser extent, while I was above everyone close to the ceiling watching what was going on.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Time wasn't obvious: I was experiencing these old memories as if I were truly there. I have no idea the amount of time I spent there with Jesus. The only part where time was relevant was when Jesus returned me back to my body and I re-entered the human world that I had just come from.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. My vision during the experience was like it was endless. I had a 360-degree field of view. Prior to this, it was my normal vision in that I had my good peripheral vision and saw people and items clearly, not enhanced like during the experience.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Communication during the experience was ‘telepathic’.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, but the facts have not been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you see any beings in your experience? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? No

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm It is almost exactly what I expected heaven would be. Yet it wasn’t everything I thought it would be in that it wasn't as worldly as I expected, not as tangible as I thought it would be.

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt pure joy, peace and contentment.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No

The experience included: Life review

Did scenes from your past come back to you? I remembered many past events

Did scenes from the future come to you? No

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will Jesus understood that I wanted to be by his side but as I have mentioned, he agreed with me that I had unfinished business with my son. He was glad that I wasn't just thinking about myself.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Greatly important to me

What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Other Christian I have had too many experiences in my life where I felt the presence of a divine intervention at the point of possibly losing my life.

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes Just that I got the validation of the faith I have basically had since I let Jesus into my heart when I was 18 years old.

What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me

What is your religion now? Christian- Other Christian I have attended Catholic, Presbyterian, Methodist and studied the Jewish faith with people who were Jewish.

Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience It was what I had hoped for and so much more. I never ever thought that I would be so blessed to be able to speak with my Lord and he was in control of my life in such a big way

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No I received validation that my faith was true and pure and I will live amongst My Lord and all the souls he wishes me to be with.

The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin I felt that I was talking to my Lord Jesus Christ and he was there but not in a bodily form.

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Yes Jesus and I were conversing but without voices almost like really peacefull thoughts

During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No

During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes When I was aware of where I was it became clear to me via thought that I was in a place like no other and there was no bad thoughts just love and peace in my heart as well as all around me

Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God probably exists

During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes it was obvious to me that I was in the presence of the Lord and we spoke to each other by our thoughts

Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No That there is a heaven and that I was important enough that I conversed with Jesus himself.

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant

During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Yes I was put on this earth this time to raise and protect my son and every thing else was fodder, things I had to do in an earthly existence. I have been told many times by different people that I was an "Old Soul" and they could see it in my eyes

Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife probably exists

Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes yes, it was the most pain, heartache and worry free feeling and it felt that it was limitless

Did you fear death prior to your experience? I did not fear death

Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death

Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life

Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant

Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant

Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes That I was to express myself how I best felt, showed who I was and in doing so gained the respest of my son, which was all that mattered in this life

During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No

Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others

During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes unconditional love for my son, that my first love was real and necessary to help me learn these lifes lessons and that I had met, fell in love with my soulmate only to have her taken away from me by a negative and hurtful threat made by her estranged husb

Were you compassionate after your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others

What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life Satisfaction in knowing that if I did nothing more than protect and prepare my son for his life, that was enough. I can tell and truly believe that he is a new soul and I was put here for him.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Yes I am more selective about the people who have a place in my life and am more concerned about helping the teenagers I know.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? No

How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience You just don't forget a visit to heaven and have the opportunity to speak to Jesus and discuss whether or not I wanted to stay or return to my previously experienced life, in this case to raise and protect my son

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I seem to have enhanced my intuition by this experience and see some things before they are about to happen; especially with movies I always seem to figure the story out before anyone else.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The patience that has come since then. I seem to be able to ride out the storms that come my way.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes It was a few months before I really talked about it. There were the skeptics and non-believers.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes Hearsay, what I read and saw on television.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real In my heart, I was touched by this. I knew it was real whether other people believed it or not because I was there and spoke to the Lord!

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real Nothing has changed and I am still living my life with the firsthand knowledge that I was there in heaven and I spoke to my Lord.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Just the flashbacks I get from that period of my life and the PTSD. After all, not many people die as many times as I did and live to talk about it.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I think the next step is to help people believe that there is life after death and not to fear death.