I had been in the hospital a few days hooked to monitors when one evening around 7:00 they nurses ran in and got me prepped for surgery. They rushed me to the OR where the doctor was waiting. He began to swab my stomach with antiseptic while telling me that I would be asleep before he did the surgery, I was not. Before I was asleep, he cut me open and I sat up on the table. He said, 'I told you to have her out, I can't stop now so get her down and out.' From there hands pulling me down and a mask was placed on my face. The next thing I knew I was up on the ceiling looking down at the body being worked on. The room was packed full of interns with clip boards (I would later find out that it was a teaching hospital and I was the first case of this kind they had ever had) I watched him take the baby from me and saw that it had black hair and I heard it cry once. He then handed to a nurse saying, 'It is gone.'
When he said that...I went into a black tunnel that had a pen point of light at the end and as quick as I wondered what it was, I was through the light and standing in a field looking around. Everything was crisp and clean like there were no dust particles to block the view; it was a beautiful field with a very small stream running through it. As I looked across the stream I saw a man, he was sitting on a pile of big rocks, sitting on one, resting his back on the other. He had hair the color of gold, parted in the middle and laying in waves and it was so long that it was spread out on the ground behind him. He was nude but it felt natural as if I were looking at someone fully clothed. As I looked at him, he began to speak telepathically to me, which now seems strange but at the time also seemed natural.
He said, 'Hi Brenda, I am your supreme being and I am here to teach you some things that you must remember in order to go where you are going. Do you think you can remember?"" I said of course I could and with that, he had a pointer or something in his hand and he pointed to the ground beside him and it looked like a slide projector of the human brain cut in half. He began telling me about the subconscious part of the brain and that this is where our spirit memories are. He told me about God, where he came from, why he came, why he made us, he said words I had never heard before and names I had never heard of. He said 'Can you remember?' and it was like...what a silly question, of course I can remember.
At this time, I was pulled back to my body but just for a second and I was back out into the light and again the man was there but this time he was standing with his hand stretched out to me saying. 'It's time for you to go if you are ready. Are you ready?' I began to think about my children and I said, 'I can't go yet, I can't.' With those words on my lips, I began to fall backwards through a black void that was the most horrible place I can imagine. There was nothing solid yet there were shapes like I had never seen before (sort of like if you were to draw in the dark with a laser light) that is as close to it as i can get. There were people running, falling, screaming, bleeding, lashing out at me as I was falling but they couldn't quite touch me, they would come soooooo close I could feel the air move past my face. I fell back into my body and that was it.
Date NDE Occurred: Sept 1973
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Childbirth Life threatening event, but not clinical death
I was bleeding to death but the baby was still living, I was admitted to a catholic hospital and told I had to be on deathbed before they could take baby.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes When I was in the field, I had the sense of looking as I did at the time 23 or so
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? The body was unconscious but the soul was wide awake. I was more aware of these things than anything I have ever experienced here in life
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I heard the man's voice and I heard the people screaming
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes Through a black space that was more than tunnel-like
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes My supreme being and people in the dark. I did not recognize anyone.
The experience included: Void
The experience included: Darkness
The experience included: Light
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Imagine going outside at night when it is totally dark and looking out into the sky and seeing one bright star, that is how it looked to me
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm described above
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt like I was going home and was agitated that I could not go with him
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe I was taught all but upon waking I knew nothing except that he said words and names I had never heard before (in this life) but had no trouble understanding then.
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes Small stream or brook. Yes, if I had stepped across the stream I would have been dead to this world.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I was aware that the decision was mine to make
God, Spiritual and Religion:
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I now know what to believe and that it is important that I knew the truth in order to make up my mind on which way I would believe
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The best part was the feeling of oneness with everything in the field and the worst was the feeling of total separation in the dark space
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes reactions vary. Some are touched by it and others look at me as if I am crazy.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No There is not a drug made that could come close to touching this. It was as real as you or I.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I have learned that dying is nothing. It is as natural as breathing and we should not fear it but look forward to the wonder that awaits us.
Did the questions asked and information that you provided accurately and comprehensively describe your experience? Uncertain
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