The reason I called 911 on March 5, 2014, was because over a period of four hours that morning (from 9:30am - 2:00pm). I had been having episodes of feeling like I was going to ‘pass out’, ‘die’, and the first few episodes involved only this feeling. I had no other symptoms until a tremendous flash of heat that shot through my body and felt like my blood was on fire accompanied the last two episodes. It was then I knew this was serious and I made the call. When I saw my Electro-cardio Gram (EKG) read-out go flat-line, I was instantly out of my body, not in the Emergency Room (ER). Suddenly, I was totally aware I did not have an earthly body anymore. I knew it without question. The only sense I had was sight and mindfulness. It felt as if I was positioned centrally in a doorframe that opened into another realm straight in front of me. It was not a tunnel. It was a ‘space’ without defining borders. More like getting ready to leave one ‘room’ and enter into another. This ‘space’ I was looking into, was completely filled with white light. The only other defining feature was a black pathway that, in my mind, seemed to be about a foot wide, but extended out in front of me and went on without end. There were no people. Nobody spoke to me. There was no sound at all. As I'm looking at the pathway I'm feeling curiosity about it and asking myself some questions like: ’what is that for?’ ‘Where does it go?’ ‘Am I supposed to do something now?’ I said to myself, ‘this black pathway reminds me of the people mover devices you see in some airports.’ I was feeling a sense of what was happening was more real than my life in my body. It was an extremely pleasant state of mind in which to be. I had no fear or anxiety whatsoever. I was enjoying this immensely. Suddenly I was ‘awake’ on the gurney in the Emergency Room with the Doctor and six other people around me attaching me to an external pacer device. There was frantic activity. As they attached the external pacer device, my EKG pattern returned on the telemetry monitor. The Emergency Room Doctor was ‘yelling’ (it felt like he was) to me at the foot of the gurney, ‘I'm so sorry this is happening to you, but, boy, am I glad you got here when it did.’ He was holding up a printout of the EKG strip, showing it to me at the same time. He went on, ‘We're sending you immediately to St. Joseph's Hospital, as a direct admit to Cardiac Care Unit, because you have complete heart block, need an internal pacemaker and we do not do that here.’ They loaded me into the ambulance, with the external pacer device attached and transferred me to St. Joseph's Hospital Heart Center.
Date NDE Occurred: 3/5/14
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Life threatening event, but not clinical death
I was taken to the ER via ambulance from my home. I was on the gurney in the ER and had been attached to cardiac telemetry because of the symptoms I had been having. The telemetry monitor screen was positioned so I could see it at all times. While in the room alone at the time of the event, I saw my EKG readout suddenly go ‘flat line.’ My heart stopped beating. [Editor’s Note: Telemetry Monitor allows medical professionals to track measurements and data of the heart from a remote distance.]
How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? No
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal The entire time I felt more ‘real’, more ‘alive’, more ‘conscious’, more ‘mindful’: I felt, without question, better than being ‘alive’ in my body as we know it.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? This is difficult to answer because the entire experience was only 60 seconds in length. I can only answer it best by saying I felt at my highest level of consciousness and alertness during the entire time.
Were your thoughts speeded up? No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No
Were your senses more vivid than usual? More vivid than usual
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Vision was the only sense I had. It was central, forward, no peripheral and clear, sharp, with a very pleasant white light. The only colors I saw was the white light and the black ‘pathway.’ It felt like pure, unadulterated vision.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. There was no sound, whatsoever, during the experience.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
The experience included: Tunnel
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes The light was not from any fixture anywhere. It was not like ‘sunlight’: it was a pure, white kind of light. Not sharply bright, but pleasant and embracing me.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm In answering this question I have to say it felt like I was on the verge of actually entering into the space. When I was suddenly aware I was out of my earthly body, I had the sense of like a ‘door frame’ around me, but I was still in the center of this ‘door frame’ and only looking into the unearthly space I was looking at. I never did actually enter into it, but could only see it.
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I instantly felt weightless, unburdened, unencumbered with a body, free, light, airy, and almost like I could fly. I enjoyed it immensely. I felt like I wanted it to stay that way.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? Happiness
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? No
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Greatly important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Protestant I am a non-denominational Christian and have been since the age of 12
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Christian- Protestant
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was entirely consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I have absolutely no fear of death now: none, whatsoever. I now see death only as a transition, not something to fear.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God definitely exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife definitely exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists No
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I slightly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Not fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? No
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? No changes in my life No changes in my life. I'm still in a recovery phase since I had my pacemaker inserted. However, my experience has absolutely removed any fear whatsoever of death.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No No
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes There was so much frantic activity going on around me, immediately after the event, and I was back in my body, with all my human senses again, I didn't even remember the event until several hours after I was admitted to St. Joseph's and all the commotion calmed. Eventually, I remembered: it was at first like a ‘picture’ in my mind and then I realized what had really happened to me.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience It has been only one month since my experience. But I can say that it's as if the entire event has been "burned" into my brain. I can recapture the entire event in my mind like looking at a photograph now.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain It is still early since my experience, but I have a strange sense of heightened discernment about impending health related events. I guess I wouldn't categorize it as a ‘special gift’ so much as probably a normal state of mind considering the event was life threatening. I will soon turn 70 and at this age such events are more in the forefront of my thinking.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The entire event was significant to me because it confirms to me that my choice in belief is valid, true, and ‘yea though I walk through the shadow of the valley of death, thou art with me!’
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes It wasn't until several hours after I was transferred to St. Joseph's Hospital, that I remembered the event. I kept going over it, over it, over it in my own mind and it dawned on me, finally, that in those 60 seconds I had indeed had an NDE! I didn't share it with anyone in the hospital. It took me about a week to finally share it with my daughter who lives with me. I also shared with my very close, dear friend (male), and my three other children. All of them were accepting, wanting to hear about it, with a wide-eyed reaction.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I had a probable NDE when I was an infant of 3 months of age. I believe I submitted that account to this site several years ago. As a Registered Nurse, over my 41 years of practice I have had a few patients of mine who have shared their own NDE experiences with me. My previous knowledge of NDE did not seem to affect this experience. Comparing this one, with the ‘probable’ one I had: they are polar opposite in certain ways.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I viewed the reality of my experience as MORE real than the life/reality I feel, as I sit here typing this. My view of it is not fading or ‘going away’ or being dismissed in any sense. Why do I view it that way? Based on my life-long belief in the God I know and my relationship with Him across seven decades.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real My experience was more than the ‘real’ we are confined to in our body. Scripture teaches me that my life here on earth is ‘not my home.’ There is eternity: life after I leave this body.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Waking up each and every day reproduces the entire experience for me. I want it to come back because it was so pleasant.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Now that I've had it, I feel a sense of disappointment because I didn't get to enter the space, move along the pathway if that's what was intended. I'm more curious now.
From as far back as I can remember which takes me to the age of four, until I was nine or ten years old I eagerly looked forward to going to bed at night because of a repetitive 'dream'. This 'dream' was so beautiful, so unusual, and so peaceful, so filled with love; I couldn't wait to close my eyes. I would crawl into bed, lay on my back, close my eyes in the pitch-black darkness of my bedroom and wait. Without fail, it would come to me in exactly the same way. First, there is the blackness. The simple blackness of a darkened room seen through closed eyelids. Next is an awareness of a blackness that's more than just closed eyes. It felt like liquid black, as if I had been submerged in a vat of ink, but it felt 'thick' like mercury. It is here I wait. Sure enough, there it is. A tiny speck of yellow light at the center of this liquid blackness, which felt like it was 'in front' of me, and very far away. I am aware of motion but I can't figure out whether I'm moving toward that light, or I'm still, and the light is coming to me. Whatever the case, the light gradually grows in size. It is a golden yellow and gives off a warmth and sense of peace, not to my body, but to my mind, heart, soul and spirit. As the light reaches me it engulfs me, takes me 'in', and I'm thrust forward like a rocket being shot off a launch pad - and I'm in my 'dream' world. A place where the word 'Technicolor' doesn't even come close.There are no words to describe the colors. The sky is blue, but bluer than blue. It's the purity of the colors. I am suddenly aware that I have 360-degree vision. I can see all around myself. I don't have a physical body anymore. I am 'hovering' over the rooftop of my house. I'm looking at the shingles on our roof, which are old, weather beaten, in various stages of decay, and I'm thinking to myself, 'Dad needs to replace those sometime soon.' There is no sound. I see the rooftops of all of our neighbors' houses, for the full length of the street. The lawns are a lush, rich green. I see the three maple trees in our yard adorned in leaves of every shade of the rainbow. Yellow, golden, orange, rust, brown, reds, burgundy, greens, purple. So beautiful the sight feels like music could burst forth. I'm moving 'upward' now, like a helium filled balloon, rising. Now I see the entire valley we live in. Main Street, church steeples, my school, the old Paper Mill, Blum's Shoe Factory, F.A. Owen Publishing company, Kelly Brothers Nursery, the airport, Foster Wheeler Corporation, Bernard McFadden's Hotel on East Hill. And most striking of all, 'the flats' - at the North end of town. This is a ten-acre parcel of land that is pitch black with fine, silt-like soil and the site of an old Indian Reservation long since abandoned. I'm looking at our village and I feel like I'm a part of all of this. I belong here. I feel love rising from the very ground. The beauty of this place strikes me. There is harmony, purpose, reason for living here. And suddenly it's gone. I'm asleep.I had this 'dream' in exactly the same way, every night, without fail, until I reached nine or ten years old. As a child, I believed it was just that, a 'dream'. Because it was a 'dream', it never occurred to me to share it with anybody. It was pleasant, joyful, and peaceful, a place of loving harmony and I eagerly embraced it. When it stopped happening I was very disappointed. I would go to bed trying to 'will' it to happen, come back, force it into my consciousness, but it never came back. To this day, it has not.I never told anybody about it. I simply went on with my life but held onto my 'dream' as a wonderful 'memory'.In 1986, I took my then five-year-old son on a vacation trip to visit his grandmother, my mother, on Marathon Key, in the Florida Keys. She had an Oceanside mobile home and one evening we sat out on the patio enjoying the ocean breeze and sharing memories of life. Suddenly she said to me, 'Bonnie, did I ever tell you about the time you died when you were three months old?' I nearly fell off my chair. She had never told me that. Ever. She went on to say, 'One day you had a high fever, were fussy, wouldn't eat, so I put you in your crib and you did fall asleep. About an hour later, I suddenly had this gut-wrenching urge to check on you. I went to your crib, you were completely blue, not breathing, not moving, and as limp as a wet dishrag. I grabbed you and ran to Dr. M's house across the street. He took you and began to blow air into you through your mouth. The office nurse called the ambulance. We went to the emergency room. It seemed like an eternity waiting. I was hysterical. Finally, Dr. M. came out. I watched his body language, the expression on his face. He came up to me, put his arms around me, hugged me and said, 'Mary, if there ever was a miracle, this is it. We had a dead baby, but she is ok now, thank God.'I sat there in shock, listening to this. My mother had NEVER told me about that event. Then, suddenly - while sitting there in a state of shock - my 'dream' swept over me. She said I was 'three months old' - that would be in October of the year - Fall - the leaves on the Maple Trees! It hit me like a ton of bricks. It was no 'dream' at all. It couldn't have been a 'dream.' The empty slate of my infant brain had somehow recorded the transcendence of my soul, spirit, from my body to a journey beyond this earth that was interrupted by medical intervention.In thinking back, before my mother gave me this information, as an adult I used to 'wonder' about my 'dream'. I would say to myself, 'How could I know what my neighborhood, the entire valley I lived in, looked like from a bird's eye view, having NEVER in my life been more than a few inches off the ground!?'My mother answered many questions about my 'dream' that day. I then shared it with her. It was the first time in my life I had told anybody about it. As of this writing, it is now public knowledge. I've always been interested in NDE accounts, have read many of them, but have never heard one having to do with a three-month-old infant! My own! I am convinced beyond any doubt; I had died that day, just as my mother said.
Date NDE Occurred: 1948
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Illness Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function)
The life threatening event was a fever so high it was incompatible with life, I went into respiratory arrest, followed by cardiac arrest.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal As above.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? As soon as I arrived in my 'world', when I was thrust through the golden yellow burst of light.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
It felt 'fluid' to me. No sense of north, south, east, west. No sense of 'time' as we know it.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. All colors were as if they were 'liquid.' Brighter, pure, untainted, perfect, clearer, and as if music might flow out of them.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. There was no sound.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain It did not appear as, or 'feel' like a 'tunnel' to me. It felt more like a 'holding place' - I did not feel confined by any boundaries.
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
The experience included: Void
The experience included: Darkness
The experience included: Light
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes At first, just a tiny, tiny speck of golden yellow, circular light - like the beam of a flashlight a million miles away in the blackness.
The experience included: A landscape or city
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? No sense of gravity or weight at all. Unburdened. Lighter than a feather. Joy, harmony, peace, love, accepted, belonging, unity, hope are a few of the feelings.
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate Christian
What is your religion now? Moderate Christian
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes Overwhelming feeling of being conjoined with all of creation.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes The experience was so beyond all of our combined human senses that words in the English language become inadequate to convey this experience.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I can only tell you that now and then I have 'premonitions' about events that are going to take place, in advance of their happening. I have had 'dreams' showing me pictures of a piece of an event, which eventually appears, in the newspaper, or on TV. For example, one night I dreamed about a piece of an airplane, lying on the ground in a forest, revealing the call letters and numbers of the flight. I saw four or five of the letters and numbers in my dream. When I woke up it was as vivid as could be. Within a day or two, a picture appeared on the front page of the newspaper of a plane that had gone down. The picture was the same one I had in my 'dream' - the piece of the plane with the call letters and numbers and they were the same!
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? My experience did not take on special meaning until my mother verified some facts about which I was ignorant until I was forty-two years old. I am now sixty-three years old. What I believe today about the experience is that the experience itself was imprinted upon my body at a cellular, even DNA level, for whatever reason. I liken it to the 'transfiguration' of Jesus, just before He ascended into Heaven.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I shared it for the first time ever, with my mother on that day when she told me about my death as an infant. I was forty-two years old when I told her.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I have always been interested in NDEs. Especially as a nurse. I have been with hundreds, maybe thousands of people at the time of their death and successful resuscitation. It was a subject I had always wanted to research as a bedside nurse, but never did.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real Of course it happened when I was an infant. There is no question whatsoever in my own mind concerning the reality of my experience. It is the single most experience in my entire life that transcends reality, as we know it. This was 'pure reality'.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I view it as evidence of life after the body dies. As Judge Judy always says, 'If it doesn't make sense, it's not true!' It makes no sense to me whatsoever that we are gifted with this life; in it's present form that our body dies, and that's it! We are not just 'physical'. Who kills the spirit? Who kills the soul? Nobody. They go on living somewhere, somehow.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No It now remains as a 'memory' only. But it is as vivid a 'memory' as if it happened last night. The experience itself has not occurred since I was nine or ten years old.
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I consider my experience a 'death' experience based on my mother's information. I believe I died on that day. I believe my spirit and soul, had left my infant body, and was leaving this earth on a journey to some other dimension not known to us. What impresses me the most about it is there were no negative feelings or emotions at all, it was as if fear did not exist.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? I believe you have covered it very well.
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