Bonnie B NDE

Experience Description

When I was six years old I contracted diphtheria, was taken to hospital where I stopped breathing and died. I had been sick for several days, with a terrible earache in my left ear, and then it started in my right ear. My mother had been trying to treat me with drops of warm oil, but it didn't help. I became sicker, and less responsive, and I remember daddy leaning over me as I lay on my bed. He tried to talk to me, and tried to get me to talk to him, but I felt disconnected, and unable to focus on him. I must have lost consciousness because the next I remember he was carrying me into the doctor's office. The doctor took a swab of my throat and daddy carried me into an exam room and laid me on a bed while the doctor looked through a microscope. Suddenly he yelled at daddy, (who was standing next to him) 'Get her to the hospital immediately! She's got diphtheria!' I remember only part of the drive to the hospital, and then I woke up in a bed covered with something I didn't recognize. Mother later explained this was a canvas tarp, used to create an oxygen tent. Since I was so young, I didn't know what oxygen was, or why I was in a tent I couldn't see out of. I thought that tent was what was keeping me from being able to breathe, and started to fight to get out of it.

Nurses came in and gave me many shots of penicillin (I'm very allergic now) but I kept getting worse, and felt as though I couldn't breathe. I was in fact breathing; I was gasping in huge deep gulps of air, but somehow it felt as though I wasn't breathing at all and that I was suffocating. I wanted to lie down, but every time I did, I would be unable to breathe and would feel as though I was going away somewhere. When this happened, I would jerk up to a sitting position again and try to breathe in enough air. Mother, who was sitting in a chair beside the bed, would tell me to lie down and I would be fine. I told her repeatedly that I couldn't breathe, and she would tell me again to just lie down and I would be fine. I have no idea how long this went on, with me gasping desperately for air, sitting up then lying down, then jerking up again when I would stop breathing. But gradually I got weaker and it grew harder to sit up and stay conscious. I must have finally gotten sick enough that I could no longer fight, because at one point, I lay down on the bed and stopped breathing and that's when I died. It was not a 'near' death experience, it was death.

I heard a loud buzzing and felt that I was in a total darkness and then I left my body. I didn't know at first that I had left my body; I was aware that I was floating above the bed, and that I was somehow very, very different. The first and most vivid sensation I had was that there was some place I wanted, HAD, to go to, and I knew I had to get out of that room to be able to go. I went up, trying to go, but I was stopped at the corner of the room where the walls and ceiling met. I looked down and saw the bed covered with the canvas tarp, and mother sitting on a chair beside the bed. Her purse was on the floor beside her chair. Her hands were folded in her lap and her head was down. I wonder if she was praying. I realized that I had no physical body, but I was still me. And I wanted desperately to go. There was a 'place' I wanted to be - a light - a beautiful, golden, brilliant light of pure love and acceptance. But no matter how I tried, I was unable to get out of the room. I could 'feel' the solidity of the walls and ceiling against my back, and knew I was supposed to be able to go through it and beyond, to the light, but I couldn't. I don't know how I knew I was supposed to be able to go through the solid walls of the hospital, but I did. I also knew that the place I wanted so badly to go to was 'HOME.' I was allowed to keep some memories, but there are others I can't quite grasp.

I think I may have left the room and went on to the light, but was not allowed to remember all of the experience, because I retained memories of a total love beyond any earthly love, and being embraced in it, music that was unlike any I had ever heard, and smells of flowers sweeter than you can imagine. I saw Earth as if from space, and saw what looked like sparks from July 4th sparklers coming from it and going to it in a steady stream. From all over the Earth there were uncountable 'sparks' leaving it and just as many coming to it. There was no sense of time or space, and no regret at leaving my body or my family. I felt only complete joy and happiness. I have no idea how long this lasted, and I'm not positive that I was prevented from going to the light. I may have, but was not allowed to remember anything except being stuck there in that hospital room.

But suddenly I was back in my body again and it felt as though I was awakened from a very deep sleep. I sat up in the bed and had to vomit. There was a sink beside the bed, and mother helped me to lean over the sink while I vomited what mother later told me was a large amount of phlegm. As soon as I had finished, I laid back down and went to sleep. It was at that point that I began to recover. I no longer had to gasp in huge amounts of air; I was able to breathe normally. I still had to spend a lot of time in hospital, but I got better from that point on. I believe God took my soul from my body long enough for Him to put a healing hand on it, and cause me to get well. And he let me remember enough of Him to know for a fact He does love us beyond measure, and watches carefully over each one of us.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 1950

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Illness Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) I was dying of diphtheria.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal As above.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? During the entire time I was completely alert. I went from suffocation and near-coma while in my body to total awareness and absolutely no feelings of sickness, or faintness.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Nothing was as is here. There was no sense of time or space, or of this realm.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Again, everything was much sharper, and clearer. Colors, and smells, and sounds were all perfect, and far beyond normal.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Sound was pure, and clean. The music I heard was perfect.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes I don't know if I would describe it as a tunnel - it was like a womb of blackness.

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

The experience included: Darkness

The experience included: Light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes I can't, but I will try. It was like the center of everything. It contained, and was, pure love, intelligence; being. It was an irresistible force pulling me to itself, and I wanted very much to go. I was compelled to go to it.

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt complete and total joy, serenity, happiness, peace, and contentment. I felt enwrapped in pure love.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

The experience included: Special Knowledge

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future

The experience included: Boundary

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes Described above, I was unable to leave the hospital room. I have memories of seeing Earth, and being told some things, but whether or not I did cross the boundary I do not know.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:


What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal What kind of garbage is this? I cannot submit this without choosing one of these three choices? How dare you! I was six years old and none of these! I will check liberal just so I can send this to you. But my answer is NONE! NONE NONE NONE

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No I grew up with the knowledge of what pure love is. As well, I know what true spirituality is. 'Religion' is a different animal.

What is your religion now? Liberal 'Believer. There is no church, no religion that has it right. They are all wrong. It is not about simply a set of rules, (although there are rules to live by...a list of ten of them.) It is about giving yourself up to the total love of our Creator and then allowing Him to take over our life; guiding us, helping us, using us, and us using Him. AGAIN, SAME AS ABOVE....NONE NONE NONE NONE NONE'

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No I grew up with the knowledge of what pure love is. As well, I know what true spirituality is. 'Religion' is a different animal.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:


During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I'm not sure how this knowledge was imparted to me; as I explained above I'm not sure if I did go to the light because I was not allowed to remember all of my experience. I do know that I was told our purpose here is to learn and to love. Our life here is like being in school. We are to learn as much as possible, and to love everyone. This is one home for many people. We all have the same parents, the same purpose, the same spirit of God within us. Who told me this, or how, is something I have no memory of.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No Since I was a child when it happened, I grew up with the knowledge that there is so much more to our existence than this physical plane. I suppose I have spent my life searching unsuccessfully for a love like I know it can and should be. And I have an acute awareness of when it is not true love.

After the NDE:


Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes It is difficult to describe in words that are limited by our puny human ability and knowledge something that is 'other worldly.' What I experienced and many others also, was beyond the capability of our brains to comprehend.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The entire experience was especially meaningful to me. It has shaped and defined my life. I know for a fact that our souls do survive physical death. I know for a fact there is a God. Death is only the beginning of our TRUE life; this is merely a school here.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Since I was only six years old, no one paid any attention to what I said. I tried several times immediately afterward to tell people I had 'flown' but I was not taken seriously. It was many years before anyone did. Thank you Dr. Elizabeth Kubler Ross!

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I had no explanation for it. I was completely confused. I knew I had died, that my soul had left my body, and that I had a profound experience. But I was so young I had no frame of reference for what had happened so that I could understand it fully.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real It was a rare and beautiful gift. It was given to me so that I would have the strength to endure the life that lay ahead for me.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I wish I could more accurately describe the love and acceptance I felt from the light. I wish I could paint a word picture of how it is to be separate from one's body - to be in spirit form - more aware, more ALIVE than in the body!

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? See questions 46 and 47.