Second near death experience, twenty one years old.
I was married at twenty one and shortly after I had my second near death experience. I was sick in bed with flu-like symptoms. I went running to the bathroom when I felt myself collapsing. I blacked out and fell on the bedroom floor before ever reaching the bathroom. The next thing I remember was floating up on the bedroom ceiling. I watched my husband kneeling next to my body calling my name. ‘Barb, Barb,’ he called to me. I answered him back, ‘Up here, I'm up here. Look up at the ceiling!’ I couldn't understand why he couldn't hear me. I finally became tired and frustrated of trying to communicate with him and began looking around the bedroom. Nothing seemed out of place. The bed, lamp, and all the furniture was exactly where it was supposed to be. Then suddenly I noticed a round circular swirling motion near my right side up on the ceiling. I was curious, so I floated towards the movement and entered into it. I came out on the other side into a tiny waiting room that only one person could fit into. Well not one person exactly. I guess I should say one soul or whatever I now was. Everything in the tiny waiting room was pitch black and I couldn't see anything. I may not have had a physical body but I was still me. I would describe myself as a being of total intelligence.
After what seemed to be only a few minutes, an unseen force pulled me from the waiting room into the main part of the tunnel. The main tunnel wasn't as dark as the waiting room, and I could see a shimmering shiny veil which separated me from a boy on one side and an elderly man on the other. The veil was made out of a gray twinkling, sparkling illuminated foreign material. My attention was drawn to this veil for most of my journey through this tunnel. I felt mesmerized by it.
I was no longer being pulled down the tunnel when I noticed a bunch of dark shadows coming towards me. As the shadows approached, they turned into people who were dressed in old fashioned clothing. As the people stood in front of me, they began calling out their names. They were relatives from both sides of my family. I didn't recognize any of them, because I'd never known anyone who had died before. They were happy and joyful to see me. My relatives talked amongst themselves when two women decided they would walk with me down the tunnel so I wouldn't be scared. The rest of my relatives continued talking to each other as they disappeared into thin air right before my eyes.
I walked in between the two women while they talked to each other. It seemed as if they hadn't seen each other for a very long time. I stared at the veil wondering what it was made out of and what purpose it might have on earth. My thoughts were interrupted by one woman who said, ‘You must continue walking alone.’ Then both women disappeared into thin air the same as my other relatives had. Panic set in fast. Looking all around I spotted a tiny bright white light the size of a pin head. Every instinct told me to walk toward the light. As I walked closer to the light, it grew larger in size. I was still very far away from the light even though it was now four inches around. I stopped instantly when I heard a male voice say, ‘enter no further.’ Looking down at my feet, I saw a distinct line on the pathway of the tunnel. On the opposite side of the line, it appeared the tunnel was a much lighter shade of gray. I now realized that while I had been walking down the tunnel it had been turning lighter and lighter shades of gray. At that moment, all my instincts told me not to cross the line.
I looked around and noticed a white figure to my left side. There was no mistaking who this figure was. It was my Lord Jesus. As I stared at him, I sensed there was another world above us. I knew this was where God was and I was not allowed to view any part of his world. I felt a familiar connection between God, Jesus, and myself. It was Love that connected us. We were all the same and yet we were different. My focus then went back to my Lord as he spoke again, ‘You must answer these questions before you may enter.’
This is what we call our life review.
How have you helped others?
I answered him excitedly telling him what I had done.
He replied, that's good.
What did you learn in this life?
I told him what I had learned.
He replied, that's good, but there is more you need to learn.
In what way did you give of yourself?
I began to answer but became confused.
He showed and told me everything good and bad that had taken place in my life. In your life review, you switch places with the people you hurt. You feel the emotional pain you've caused them. It was painful to watch how I had hurt people. I begged him to stop playing the movie of my life.
After my life review, he told me I had to return back to earth. I knew he was right, but I wanted to stay here because there was so much unconditional love. Besides, I had so many questions to ask him. He told me I could ask him questions before returning to earth.
Where am I and what is this place?
Reply: At first, I thought he was speaking in a foreign language. I said, god please, I am a simple person, put it in simple words. He then replied, ‘think of this as the tunnel of grays. Dark to light, Heaven to hell. All the different shades of gray are the in-between worlds. If you took a stack of CD's and piled them from the floor (dark) to the ceiling (light), this would represent the tunnel I was now in.
God showed me a panorama view of the tunnel.
How far away was the earth from the floor?
Reply: about twelve inches.
If I decided not to go back to earth, where would I go?
Reply: about twenty four inches from the ceiling.
What would it be like if I decided to stay?
Reply: there are no words to describe.
Could I see hell?
Reply: I went speeding down the tunnel and landed on a tiny pedestal with two giant angels on each side of me. Even though I couldn't see the angel’s wings, I knew they were special and sent to protect me. When I first looked around me, I couldn't see anything. As my eyes adjusted to the dark, I saw human and demonic figures below me. There were different levels with different types of torture going on. I saw Satan hiding in the back telling his minions what to do. When Satan and I eyed each other, he ordered his minions to get me. They charged and climbed up the pedestal piling over each other’s backs trying to grab at me. They would have gotten to me if it wasn't for the protection of the angels god had sent with me. I stared up to where the angels were looking and began praying to God and asking him to please take me out of here. I told god I would do anything he wanted and if I had knees, I would be on them begging him. God left me on that pedestal for a few more seconds to teach me a lesson and believe me I learned my lesson. I never want to see hell again.
Would you show me more?
Reply: God showed me some of the worlds off of the Tunnel of Grays. The highest in elevation he called the ‘Twinkle Lights’. They are tiny dots of light that twinkle like stars. Underneath that world is the ‘Sparkle Lights’. These are larger dots and sparkle like diamonds. Another world was called the ‘White Souls’. They look like fluffy white clouds. One world I named The Living World because when I looked into the doorway it resembled the earth. It had trees, flowers and grass. Everything in this world glowed. It was as if there was fiber optic lighting that made the colors come alive. These colors were the same colors my Grandfather had shown me when I was a child. The colors were pure and bright with crystal clarity. These colorful souls were breathing and they floated around as formed different types of foliage. They communicated to each other by using different tones, which sounded like music. It took billions of souls to make up one small petal on a flower. I learned any soul may come out of their world to help us by using the Tunnel of Grays if we call upon them or pray to them.
Next God showed me what my future would be like after I returned back to earth. I was in awe. I didn't believe someone like me would become so special. Then He replied, ‘You will remember nothing after you return to earth’. I said, God, that's not fair, there should be a purpose for my coming here? He said after you have lived an experience on earth you will remember seeing it here first.
With a swooshing and a sucking sound, I was back inside my body. Before I even opened my eyes, I could hear my husband still calling my name. When I open my eyes, my husband was on his knees still at my side. I told him everything was going to be all right and not to worry.
After having this near death experience, God would ask me to go on assignments for him. At first my assignments were easy to do but as the years went by they became harder and harder. But this is another story.
Between the ages of three and five I was sexually abused. During the abuse, a Lady would come and speak to me. I could not see her physically but I could sense her presence and hear her voice inside my head. She would tell me to listen to her and not pay attention to what was going on around me. I stared up at the ceiling listening to her calm and caring voice. I loved when she would sing to me. I recall other times watching the scene unfold from the top of the ceiling or from inside the bedroom mirror. I know I shouldn't have been able to see what was happening because I was lying underneath my abuser. I now understand I was having out of body experiences.
When I was in seventh grade, my mother felt I had become too old to have an imaginary friend. He wasn't imaginary to me because I could see him very clearly. He wore an old fashioned hat, suspenders, which held up his pants, and shoes that tied. He was all gray in color. We communicated telepathically, laughed, played and told stories. He was my best friend in the whole world.
We lived near a government facility where they tested jets. One day some jets flew low overhead. The sound of the jets really scared me and I went running outside with my imaginary friend beside me. My Dad explained to me why the jets were flying so low. Satisfied with his answer I slowly walked away. My friend told me to stop and look up at the sky. He then asked, ‘What do you see?’ I told him I saw a blue sky with white clouds and yellow sunshine. He waved his hand and replied, ‘Look again.’ This time I saw a beautiful place with trees and flowers. The colors were bright, clear, and brilliant. I'd never seen colors like this before. It was as if there wasn't any pollution. All the colors of the rainbow were pure with clarity.
Then my friend waved his hand once again. This vision suddenly disappeared and a new one began. It showed black smoke, torn down buildings, jets flying overhead and destruction. It was the complete opposite of the first vision.
My friend told me we had a choice here on earth. We could love one another and make the first vision with the beautiful colors come true or we could hate each other and the second vision of destroying the Earth would come true. The choice was all ours.
I told my mother what my friend had shown me. My mother didn't like my friend and told me he was the devil and that I had to send him away. After much conversation, I did as I was told. After I grew up, I realized my mother was raised to fear God. She didn't understand that my friend was teaching me about good and evil.
When my dad died in 2010, I found a photo of his father. It was at that time I discovered my imaginary friend was my Grandfather. In the photo he had on an old farmer’s hat, suspenders holding up his pants and shoes that tied. I also found his death certificate, which said he died four months before I was born. My grandmother would often tell me how much I reminded her of my grandfather. Grama and I were very close throughout my life. A secret Grama made me promise never to tell anyone was that she and I could communicate telepathically. I kept our secret until after she died.
At age twelve, I was allowed to go swimming alone in our pond. My mother didn't know how to swim and stood at the water’s edge watching. I decided to show off, so I swam to the center of the pond, which was over six feet deep. I got a cramp in my side and slowly began sinking beneath the water. Soon I could no longer see the sun light above my head through the top of the water. Darkness surrounded me as I sunk deeper and deeper below the surface. I held my breath for what seemed an eternity. I thought my lungs would burst when finally I submitted and let in a small breath of water. Breathing in the water was relieving and not at all what I had expected it to feel like. I took in another small breath of water through my nostrils and let it go down my throat. Still no pain. I hungrily swallowed a mouthful of water. There was no choking sensation as I had anticipated. Instead, it felt relieving as the water went down my throat. I kept breathing in water until my lungs no longer felt like they would burst. A peacefulness filled me.
I watched as a bright white light came out of my chest and rippled up through the water. When I looked down, I could see my physical body below me. My physical body looked peaceful, calm, mannequin-like, with my blond hair fanned out. My arms were relaxed and poised slightly away from my body while my legs were in a standing position with my feet touching the mud. I looked like a life sized doll. Now that I was in spirit form, I felt at peace and I wasn't the least bit scared or concerned about anything. I was completely detached in every way from the physical body.
I then heard a familiar voice speaking to me. It was the same ‘Lady's’ calm, caring voice who spoke to me when I was a child during the sexual abuse. The only thing I remember the ‘Lady’ say to me was there was more work I had to do on earth and that I had to return back into my body. And with that, my feet instantly and involuntarily sprang from the muddy bottom of the pond like a bullet shooting out of a gun. I speedily broke the water’s surface coughing and spitting out water. I swam to the water’s edge where my very angry mother yelled at me all the way home for being under the water too long.
As I was walking back to the house I stopped and turned back looking at the pond, wondering what had just happened to me. A male voice said, ‘Never marry. Walk the Earth. Learn all types of religion, not from the establishments, but from the people themselves.’
And then I heard my Mother's voice yelling at me to get into the house!
In 2008, I decided to separate from my husband. My dad was very lonely since my mother’s death and asked me to move in with him. I jumped at the chance and made a home for my cat and myself. Before the divorce was finalized, I became very sick and was hospitalized. When I came home from the hospital, I was exhausted and didn't do much more than lay in bed. I began praying to my cross. I didn't pray to be cured, I prayed for God to forgive all of us for what we had done to his son. I thought about everything that Jesus must have gone through in his life time. All His pain, sacrifice, suffering, torment, and how we abandoned him. He had endured so much for us and what have we done in return for Him? Somehow, it didn't seem right. I prayed to my cross day and night.
A new life began for me through praying and meditation. My unseeing eyes and ears opened up. I was shown how to fight the darkness by using Love and how to do Energy Work. The Buddha even let me look through his third eye. Dried raindrops fell around me inside the house. All the White Light Guides and Light Workers came to teach me.
My bedroom filled with mists, orbs, healing colors and tones, visions, souls, ancient and symbols. Mantras would play, Angels visited, and my Lord came wearing his brightest, sparkling crown. My bedroom turned into a Heavenly show. I worked and study hard.
I was now on the path I was born for. My dad and cat were my last two connections to the Earth and I was told it wouldn't be long before I lost both of them. I lost my dad in 2010 and I lost my cat in February 2011. I was now free to begin a new life doing God’s work.