I'm glad that I can share with you my NDE experience.I'm 65 years old and my NDE's happened when I was 23 and 26 years old , so it's been over 40 years since first one.They were such a strong and moving experiences that over 40 years I didn't forget anything , neither did I colorized nor added anything although this lays in human nature.
Every so often I recalled and refreshed my experiences.
My first NDE took place when I was 23 years old ,during a gall bladder surgery.I have couple of unclear and hazy memories from this experience ( bright light and shiny being) but one memory is very sharp and clear. I don't know what happened during surgery but suddenly I found myself out of my body. This was terrifying experience.From above I could see my body and doctors performing surgery. I, Barbara was a SPECK OF CONSCIOUSNESS in completely dark and empty space.I had nothing, I was a SPECK that could feel and think and my only thought was - how I will get back in my body ? At this moment I was overwhelmed by fear.
After surgery my arm that had IV attached got swollen like balloon, they had to cut my gown sleeve and gave me some medication. Nobody told me why this happened , I think that it was probably allergic reaction either to IV or whatever drug they administered during surgery.
I want to tell everybody who's researching human consciousness and is convinced or assumes that this must be something more than just brain matter function - YES, YOU'RE RIGHT ! I HAD THIS EXPERIENCE IN TIMES WHEN NOBODY WAS TALKING ABOUT SUCH THINGS. MY CONSCIOUSNESS WAS OUTSIDE MY BODY FOR SOME PERIOD OF TIME .I DIDN'T IMAGINE THAT.
AT SOME POINT I WAS A SPECK OF CONSCIOUSNESS BEYOND MY PHYSICAL BODY !!
This is my experience and nobody's gonna take it away from me.Nobody's gonna convince me that it was a dream,hallucination or lack of oxygene in the brain.
It was REAL .
I write to you again.I want to describe to you my second NDE. It is emotionally hard to go through this again but I have to do that.
My second NDE
I was 26 years old then, married for over a year.I couldn't get pregnant because of fallopian tubes blockage.
I decided to go under surgery.
During surgery while under anesthesia I realized that my consciousness is awake. I did 't wake up but I knew that I'm dying.I felt sorry for my husband that he will be alone.
I'm not sure what was first but I remember having feeling like I'm collapsing inside myself and getting smaller and smaller like those russian babushkas...That's best comparison.
Then I saw on a big screen a film of my life, not whole life but most emotionally significant moments chosen and put together in a way that created logical puzzle.
This 'film' made me realize that my life has deep meaning . I never thought about my life this way.
Some great and all - knowing WISDOM showed it to me.
Film showed my life in reverse, going back all the way to my early childhood where I saw my mother as a toung girl, she was singing a song for me, after that was pink haze.
I don't remember how I got in the tunnel, I must have been pushed in with some great power. I was moving down the tunnel very fast at 45 degree angle.I heard loud noise, ringing and whirr. I didn't have body but the feeling of its shape somehow remained.I don't remember what I saw on my way through the tunnel, it's hard to describe.Tunnel ended suddenly and I found myself in big and bright place.I wasn't alone there. I think that on my both sides there were exits of other tunnels and people that came through them at the same time as I.
Then I noticed some beings that communicatied without words , from mind to mind. I 'heard' them saying : 'FINALLY YOU ARE HERE. WE WERE WAITING FOR YOU ' .I pretended that I don't hear those words. I was little affraid and curious at the same time because it was absolutely new, uncomparable with anything experience.Then one of the beings repeated ' WE ARE TALKING TO YOU, WE WERE WAITING FOR YOU'.Then I heard ' DOCTORS ARE FIGHTING FOR YOUR LIFE. IT'S NOT YOUR TIME YET. YOU HAVE TO GO BACK , YOU HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO DO '.
What happened next is hard to describe, for some time after surgery I had a memory of wonderful garden
That I found myself in. Later on this memory started fading.All I knew was that I experienced new places and new mysteries, I reached ENLIGHTMENT .Those beings told me that later I won't remember what happened and that's how it was.
I was feeling so wonderful and blissful while being there, it's hard to describe.Then some powerful force started pulling me out of there, it was connected with pain and discomfort.
It happened twice and after second time I was back in my body.I was laying on operating table and doctors were putting stitches on my abdomen.I felt strange because here in THIS world everything seemed now ABSOLUTELY FLAT, AND IN THE OTHER WORLD THERE WAS SO MUCH MORE DIMENTIONS.
I said - Am I alive, am I really alive ?
Then I heard woman's voice next to my head, I think she was anesthesiologist. She said : IT'S THE FIRST TIME IN MANY YEARS OF PRACTICE THAT I HAVE PATIENT WAKING UP AND ASKING IF SHE'S ALIVE, I HAVE GOOSE BUMPS.
Couple of days later doctor who was leading my surgery told me that things got really bad during my surgery and there was panic.
They were resuscitating me and use defibrylator twice, I came back after second time.That agreed with my experience.
There is one more thing I want to say. For a long while after my experience I couldn't find a word that would describe how it was over THERE.
Several years later after reading book ' Life after life' I finally found this description in words of one woman.
Over THERE everything was so TECHNICAL.
TECHNICAL - was a word that I was looking for for years !
When I read about people returning from THIS PLACE talking about seeing God and Angels , I think that they are either fantasizing or can't find adequate description of what happened to them.All I know is that a woman from a book 'Life after life' was in the same place as me.
Our life, sense of our existence- all that is astonishing and more complicated than we think.
I think that some physicists, astronomers and doctors are heading in good direction.
All religions are merely searching for answers and although some think they know the ANSWER, the truth is it's beyond our knowledge and understanding.
I'm glad that I could share my experiences with you Jody and that so many other people had experiences similar to mine .
I'm not affraid anymore that people will think I'm crazy, that's why there was a time that I I was reluctant to talk about that.