Experience Description

At around 1:30 or 2:00 AM I left my body and floated up to the hospital ceiling. I looked back down at myself and saw how pale I looked. I hadn't realized how ill I was. Then I remember seeing a very bright light. I did not exactly walk toward the light but I was moving toward it somehow. Then I could see the nurse rush into the room and scream for the doctors yet this was all in French and even though I didn't speak French I knew what she was saying.

I began to hysterically cry begging not to be sent 'back' but to go to the light. Crying and crying then all of a sudden a calmness as a voice spoke gently to me like warm honey being poured over me very warm and comforting like I had never felt since then came over me. This seemingly familiar voice held a long list of reasons of why I had to return, yet I don't remember specifically any of these reasons (they all seemed trivial to me at the time thought). I could see a male figure with a very bright light behind him so I couldn't make out exactly what he looked like. He spoke to me very lovingly and gently as if not to scare me but to reassure me that all would be all right. Yet I only wanted to stay with him.

Then I remember seeing the hospital staff: several nurses and the doctor (I remember seeing them as if from above because I remember seeing that the doctor had a bald spot on the top back of his head). The doctor said to me, 'Barbara it isn't your time to go you have to come back to us.' He kept calling my name and I remember turning away from the 'shadowed man' in the light and looked toward the doctor. Then, as if all in a sudden, I was again in my body and felt the pain of being 'bagged' (there was pain in my chest from the resuscitation). I only wanted to go back 'there' where it was so peaceful and was quite angry at being brought 'back'.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: 1970

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Illness: Pneumonia Illness, trauma or other condition not considered life threatening PneumoniaIllness: pneumonia.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes Very light feeling, free, fluid and pain-free.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I had been pronounced dead for three minutes.

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning

Did your hearing differ in any way from normal? Only the man that spoke to me, otherwise a very peaceful silence.

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I have never saw the man that spoke to me and I was not particularly religious at the time. I was very much a skeptic, even as a child.

The experience included: Light

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

The experience included: Special Knowledge

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe But I can't explain how I know.

The experience included: Life review

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control I knew that I never need fear death and this has never gone away.

The experience included: Vision of the future

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future But I do not remember them even when I was brought back to life I didn't remember.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I was told I would return and began to get very upset and cried and threw a real tantrum which was very gently and sensitively handled to calm me down so that the voice could go on to speak with me.

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal

What is your religion now? Liberal

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes But at the time I had the innocence and trust of a child which I have retained to this day.

The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes The intuitive feeling of the experience.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Peacefulness, a feeling of home, acceptance and love, belonging.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes But my mother 'excused' it as just the fantasy of a young child. No discussion, just dismissal.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Yes Some of my meditation practices are only a tiny bit similar, but only after very long and intense retreats where I have been able to relax into these states of being. I do vipassana meditation.