I come from a history of violent abuse and therefore had learned to leave my body when it was in my best interest to do so. That is NOT the same as a NDE. I left my body in the accident due to pain, but was conscious and able to talk like controlling a puppet. I gave my social security number, phone number, and insurance policy number.The Emergency Room nurse visited me several times during my 4-month stay, as she had never seen anything like a person in my state able to communicate. I had nine units of blood that night. My leg was shattered, foot torn off, ribs and arm broken. I saw a tunnel in Intensive Care Unit due to loss of blood. I had a continuous OBE, but no NDE until 3 days later when an unchecked pneumothorax caused 'loss of consciousness'. This was also an OBE, but not like any I had ever had. This time I was leaving my body behind. I felt as if I was in the hospital room AND in another realm at the same time, at first. I knew everyone in the room and everything that was said and even what people were thinking. Later, it scared them and most staff refused to talk to me about it. I met my father who I never really knew as he had died when I was three. I never thought about him much and wasn't looking for anyone. I thought it strange that he appeared. He guided me to a place where there were millions of souls who were loving and accepting of me. I kept saying 'I don't deserve to be here' and they assured me it was where I belonged. I remember questioning why everything felt more real than anything ever had in my life! My brain was in a broken body and it seemed I had 'pure consciousness without a material brain'. I began to understand why we live when an authoritative 'voice' said, ‘NO. She is not ready’. I did not want to return, and tried to protest, but found myself 'slammed' back into my pain-ridden body. I did not suffer a serious head injury, but the neurologist assigned to me wanted to study this 'NDE'. I had several surgeries (13) over the next 4 months. The Neurologist decided to use KETAMINE 4 times for anesthesia to see if it reproduced the NDE. It did not: I had OBE's and imaginative 'trips' but nothing like the NDE.
Date NDE Occurred: April 11 1984
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Accident. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function)
Pneumothorax in ICU 3 days after accident caused cessation of breathing and heart beat for short period. Arterial blood gasses were those of an already dead person according to the respiratory therapist. They kept the arterial line for several days and blood gasses were monitored 4 times a day.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes As stated, I knew everything the medical team did. Who they were, what they did and even what they were thinking and how they felt.
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? Just before they brought me back, it felt like I was not limited to a material brain. I felt connected to everything. Speech was unnecessary, as communication by thought was possible; as was travel but I barely got a glimpse of that. Vast knowledge was available but I was not allowed to access it.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
I was aware time affected material things but not things in the place I was, which was not physical.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I could not see well. I had tunnel vision due to lack of oxygen.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I could hear but could not respond.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes My father, some people who had gone on before and I saw some beings that were caring for the light being.
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes There was a 'place' in the middle of where I went that had a bright light. I thought it must be God, but did not get to see it clearly.
The experience included: A landscape or city
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? Some unfamiliar and strange place I cannot put it in words. It was a spirit realm so no description can fit.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Curiosity, then fear then joy.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe It was too brief and, as stated, I was not allowed to know. But I knew the information was available to anyone who cared to know.
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from my personal future I was told I had more to learn and do. The scenes were things I did not want to go through. In fact, I have had to go through many of them in subsequent years. Because of abuse, I was very suicidal. After that experience, I felt life was for a purpose and lost suicidal thoughts for the most part. I had a minor suicide attempt at 16, none after.
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? No
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Greatly important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Protestant Had a very fundamental Baptist background with strong beliefs in heaven and hell and rules that were to be obediently unquestioned.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I quit attending fundamental churches although it caused problems in my marriage.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Moderately important to me
What is your religion now? Do not know Attend liberal church for social enrichment, but am not connected to any specific religious tradition. Attend Methodist services occasionally as well as Native American sweats and teachings. Read varied material.
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience That religious orientation was not the standard of judgement
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I quit believing what people told me about heaven and hell. I developed beliefs that do not fit any convention.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I heard a voice I could not identify I was able to speak to people I did not know who had lived before I was even born. My father was the clearest.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Uncertain That life would continue to be very hard and I was to persevere.
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes A feeling that every crated thing was in joy as one.
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God definitely exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Uncertain I was aware there was a supreme being, but only heard it say I had to go back.
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? Unknown
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes Only that it would be hard and I would learn many things.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? Uncertain Only that it would be hard and I would learn many things.
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? An afterlife definitely exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife probably exists Yes The experience itself, being conscious in a non-material, timeless frame.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I moderately feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Greatly fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Yes Only that it would be hard and I would learn many things.
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Slightly compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes A feeling that love is the only thing we can take with us.
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Moderate changes in my life Moderate changes in my life. I know I don't have to live up to some set of rules laid out by people. I am responsible for my attitude toward others.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes Yes I see people more completely, the good side too. And I realize we are all the same.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes I have the sensation I have lived my whole life standing on the platform of a highway billboard with my nose up to the sign, trying to make out what it said. For an instant, I was far enough away to read it, but was slammed back into this world of personal struggle and uncertainty. I only remember a tiny bit of what I learned.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience I have never forgotten what I experienced, nor repeated it. I continue to have OBE's occasionally but not NDE's. It felt more real than anything ever before or since. KETMINE does not cause NDE's but can trigger an OBE.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Uncertain I have always had 'radar'. Children growing up in a dangerous environment must learn to read other’s non-verbal clues. I now have more compassion with it which helps me understand people.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Right away to hospital staff and husband. They all chose not to hear about it.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real It felt so real, and I could think clearer than ever before.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was probably real Lots of skeptics have explanations, and I keep an open mind. But so far the explanations don't really fit.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? Uncertain In deep meditation or sweat lodges I have had profound experiences but nothing as deep as the NDE.
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