I was taken into the hospital operating room to get control of the tetanus seizures [med: Tetanus is a serious bacterial disease that affects your nervous system, leading to painful muscle contractions, particularly of your jaw and neck muscles] that had re-occurred after taking medication. I was having major seizures and muscle spasms. I was given intravenous injections that were supposed to help, but that resulted in my going into total arrest [med. Cessation of both breathing and heartbeat.] I heard the two doctors and the nurses talking to each other, saying there was no movement on the monitors. They shocked me three times to try to get my heart going. While this struggle to get my body to respond was going on, I was watching them from above. I saw the doctor leave the operating room to go and tell my husband that it was all over. Meanwhile, I was experiencing an indescribable feeling of unconditional love and felt surrounded by the purest white light. The peace and love in which I was engulfed was simply too vast to be described in words. What I really wanted was to get lost in this peace and love. But, instead, I asked God, (an awesome presence that surrounded me) to let me go back. I said, ‘I have to go back, my baby is just over one year old and my other two daughters need me. I cannot stay here now.’I awoke a week later in a different town, in the intensive care unit.
Date NDE Occurred: June 1986
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Illness Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function)
I had contracted tetanus after cutting my finger taking small cuttings from plants in the garden. I was in the hospital and I had just gotten out of isolation and was given medication to initiate bowel action. This resulted in severe convulsions and seizures. I was taken to the operating room to get control of this. In the operating room I went into total arrest.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Entirely pleasant
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes . I was watching them from above. I saw the doctor leave the operating room to tell my husband that it was all over.
I did ask Non and my husband about this afterwards. My husband told me that they did tell him I was dead. But right then, there was a commotion in the operating room and when Non came back he was told it was just a malfunction of the equipment.
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal My feelings were much deeper and I had a sense that I knew the answers to the universe, but l had to leave that behind when I asked to come back.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I was looking down at the medical staff trying to get my lifeless body to respond.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? More vivid than usual
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Clear, with the clarity of the knowledge of the universe.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Clear, no muffled sounds, crisp.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm A clearly mystical or unearthly realm.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Indescribable peace, unconditional love, and the purest light of love.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will I asked to return to life, as my three daughters were small and needed me.
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Slightly important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Protestant Attended Church and Bible studies.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I am more open. I do not believe in just one church anymore, but a universal God.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Greatly important to me
What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Agnostic One God for all people.
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience God does not judge anyone, he loves unconditionally. Churches and religions create fear in people to control them.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I realized that possessions do not matter. To clean the house all the time is not what matters. Time spent with my children and teaching them to accept the differences in others and themselves and to love unconditionally, that's what's important.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Yes God who is all of that
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? Uncertain It is that i had the knowledge, but it was taken from me when i asked to return.
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Yes All is connected, fits like a puzzle.
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? I was uncertain if God exists
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? Yes I was aware of his presence. I was drawn to the light, but knew in my heart i had to go back to my children. He cam to me as an definite awareness of being and i asked Him to go back to my children. I know He is God of no denomination. The supreme being.
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? God definitely exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes I do not judge. I have not walked in the other person's footsteps.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? I was uncertain if an afterlife exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists Yes My body was very tired after a struggle with Tetanus and i could have gone to the incredible peace and love that surrounded me, but i had to go back for my children that needed me.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Moderately fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Slightly fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? Yes Our Light
If by chance, I am remembered, let it be that I loved my friends unconditionally, finding joy in their unique contributions to life, realizing that we all want to shine with our own inner light and hoping that others will find it beautiful. Knowing that we all face the night, but that the light from friends, help us find the way.
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? Uncertain I knew all and when chose to return, left it behind
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Yes Unconditional love
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Large changes in my life I am very aware that as human beings, we are all the same, just trying to exist the best we can. I am more tolerant; knowing each one of us hears a different drummer. We are all pieces in a puzzle that fit together perfectly, each in our own place, and the loss of one piece makes the picture less perfect.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No No
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes I now have a clearer vision of others' feelings.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Seeing that we live by the grace of God, each day be grateful for what we have and be content in all things.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? No
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I knew it happened, and knew that nothing would ever convince me otherwise.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real. The same. I know it happened, and still nothing will ever convince me otherwise.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
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