My experience occurred between February 19 and 24, 2010 and I believe it is a subject for researchers. Everything I experienced on the night of February 24th is almost impossible to describe in words. I returned from the experience with a multitude of memories and knowledge and that is why I find it hard to describe it in detail.
I will try to describe my extraordinary experience as follows:
I was in hospital undergoing surgery on my myocardium for the application of four bypasses.
I know that what I experienced holds so much complex meaning. We existed before creation and by that, I mean before the universe and life as we know it.
Each time I closed my eyes during the 6 days after my surgery I had these extraordinary experiences, which I can only call Extraordinary with capital E. I believe I experienced what happens between God our Father and all of life. All of life is generated (not created) by Him, in His image and likeness, with full freedom of will and being. There are no limitations or distinctions between any living things, in any way, because everything is an expression and expansive extension of God our Father Himself.
These extraordinary experiences started when I suddenly fell into a big sense of ‘peace’. I felt very alive and with great awareness (similar to a deep meditation). I was surrounded (like being hugged) by a huge indescribable love that made me feel like I was in total happiness. It felt like a 'fatherly love' and I was so safe and filled with joy at its extraordinary presence, the likes of which I had never experienced before. I was traveling, flying, above all creation and I was speaking with God our Father as if we had been keeping the conversation going forever. He was leading me and addressing me in a deep, warm voice and I was feeling his immense fatherly love.
He asked me lovingly to make a choice, 'Son, look. Choose where you want to go'. This question was about my next life experience and he was referring to everything that was below us. I had a strong feeling that there was a lot more to see before I could make a choice but I immediately answered 'No, Father. I do not want to go. I want to go back. I want to go back because of Felicia. She would suffer so much if I did not return. She does not deserve so much suffering! When I get back I want to create the 'Union of All religions of the Lord God our Father', so I could stop the nonsense and divisions forever. This has been the real cause of all of the ills in whole of humanity. What do you say Father? I do not think it can be that difficult to unmask the non-truths, omissions, harmful and false interpretations of various teachings that have made mankind feel fearful and dominated. I can do it. There is nothing else that I can do.’
At this point God our Father said to me ‘Do you know what beloved means? Beloved is the person who asks and dedicates his or her life to help people in their awakening. To help them remember and know they are ALL generated from me'.
Suddenly, I found myself in a completely different place, in front of a great multitude of deceased people who were yelling at me and accusing me of many things ‘The great trial starts in the Heavenly Court’, etc. I knew however that there is no such thing as ‘The Great Trial’ because God our Father never judges us. He set us free, gave us our free will and all of himself, always and to everyone, with no divisions. Any divisions we experience in life are man-made.
I experienced another moment of great presence, expansion of consciousness and deep peace and felt embraced by the immense paternal love, similar to that already described as follows:
Suddenly, I found myself in absolute darkness with no external reference points and that was very frightening for me because I always knew that during the other experiences I was not alone. In this dark place however, I was without any inner hold. This made me feel a deep sense of hopelessness and absolute loneliness. It was as if there was nothing and nothing had ever existed. What I felt was akin to a weak and precarious candle flame that would go out at any moment. After a while of feeling that way, I began to recall a distant memory. There was someone or something that had always helped me, but I could not quite grasp what it was. After long time in this terrible state, I began to feel like a microscopic organism and experienced some very slight movements. I saw nothing because I was still in absolute darkness. The suffering was dreadful and I cannot associate it with anything that I have ever experienced at any time in my life.
I became desperate to remember that single ‘thing’ I was aware could save me from this immeasurable pain. Slowly I felt that I had a larger body and was living underground in the earth from which I was able to nourish myself. More time passed and I began to feel like I wanted to move in the ground, like a little worm. I felt the fear of being eaten at every millimeter of movement in the ground. Then I began to feel bigger, a worm that moved a bit more freely in small tunnels, but always with the fear of being eaten at the slightest movement. Then I started to feel like a small animal with paws and caught the occasional weak glow of light but still felt constantly afraid of being eaten and still searching inwardly for that something that could save me. I was moving, little by little, I was all animals (fish, reptiles, birds, mammals) becoming more and more evolved. I was accompanied by the fear of being eaten and the feeling that there was that something that could save me from this terrible insecurity, fear and suffering.
I finally began to experience something clearer in my mind. There was a distant memory that I always used to talk to the extremely ‘Great One’. There I would find my only salvation. I had no idea who he was. Then, I had a human body and even though I was less fearful, a strong sense of loneliness and insecurity remained in me. My attention was focused more and more upon remembering who had always helped me and I still did not have the slightest what it was. Then I suddenly found myself stammering in my mind '' FA FA FA FA….THER! ….FATHER! Yes!!! FATHER!!!! YES! He was always close to me and helped me! By focusing on the meaning of that word, I slowly began to remember who he was and how much, in my previous life, I had gravitated towards him and understood now how much security, help and love he had always given to me in everything I had done. I became sure of everything an increasing need for Him. I kept repeating mentally ‘FATHER! FATHER! FATHER!’ I then started to experience that my Father is also the Father of ALL! I began to sense Him as the ‘Lord God Our Father’ and I repeated in my mind increasingly ‘LORD GOD OUR FATHER.’
After a while, I found myself at the time immediately before the start of this unimaginable and amazing journey. I felt the great presence, expansion of consciousness, awareness, deep peace and I was hugged by that immense paternal love.
God our Father said to me: ‘My Son, I wanted you to directly experience the terrible conditions in which those who 'are not' live and even make you live (be) different forms of life on earth.'
Here I stop. It is very difficult for me to continue other than to tell you that my experience was extraordinary in those six days.
Date NDE Occurred: 19 ... 24 - Febbraio 2010
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Surgery-related Come sopra. Other Intarvento sul miocardio per l'applicazione di 4 baipass. Durata dell'operazione 7 ore (previste 5). Il mio cuore era assolutamente fermo inquanto scollegato dal mio sistema nervoso per mezzo dell'applicazione di due elettrodi.
Surgery on my myocardium for the application of four bypasses. The duration of the operation 7 hours (expected 5). My heart was completely inactive as disconnected from my nervous system through the application of two electrodes.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? No
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal Since I had my eyes open, I was completely aware of everything that happened in the room. The perception of my physical field of vision was much more beyond my body. I felt as if I were at the center of a sphere of energy/consciousness, the diameter being about 2/2.5m – that was the complete me! When my eyes were closed, I was living in a spiritual level
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Difficult to explain.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. Particularly within the first few hours after I regained consciousness after surgery, I saw some people in my field of vision that appeared to have no facial skin. This may have been because they had a lower energy vibration than I had been experiencing. As the days passed by things got back to normal.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. In the first few hours after I woke up I could hear a loud and constant sound that I cannot describe. It was not an annoying noise but rather a reassuring one and it was always/only there when I had my eyes open. When it became weaker/subtler, it seemed to be coming from upstairs. It was like a ‘HOOOOM’ or ‘ROOOOM’ sound, that it is the only way I can describe it. As the days passed, it became weaker until disappearing completely on the 5th or 6th day.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No There were crowds of people just like us but I understood clearly sensation that they did not have physical bodies. They cursed and gestured as crowds do, protesting or cheering. Among them, I knew only two people and one of them has been deceased for a few years.
Three beings stood by on one occasion. They were hooded, obscure dark figures with two eyes (no face) in a V-shaped brown / faded orange color that gave me the impression of a weak candle flame and without any energy. When I had my eyes closed, they approached my bed with a bewitching attitude and inaudible wheezing voice, their arms together and head down as monks often stand.
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm Per ora mi fermo qui.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? They were very different and diverse depending on which part of the experience I was going through at the time.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal Universalista.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No
What is your religion now? Liberal Cosmico/universalista.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No I understand a lot more about other people, the reason behind their beliefs, their fears, weaknesses, situations and suffering.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Except for the description of the state of completeness, awareness, happiness, joy, love that I experienced and heard.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? All of them.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes With some people after a few days as soon as it was possible.
After a few months, I even shared it with some priests of different religions.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes . I had read something, but not in depth.
I am sure that did not influence my experience in any way.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I would like that very much but it takes a long time. I only want to do this if there is genuine interest in it.