I passed out at home Friday night, the ambulance came and took me to the hospital around 11 pm. I have no memory of anything between approximately 10:45 pm and 3:30ish the next morning.
The actual experience:
I was just suddenly in front of several people, none that I recognized at first. There was no background or foreground. we were just together. Then, my husband (deceased for two years and two and a half months) spoke to me and said only three sentences but he said them to me repeatedly in his patient tone (he always knew how to talk to me):
I am here.
It's not time my little white teddy bear.
Where there is love.
Others were around that seemed familiar but none were as familiar to me as my husband. The others would sometimes echo what he said but never in the same order.
My husband stopped speaking then they all stopped. At this time, something really strange occurred. I saw a movement from the bottom of my vision and as I looked down, my husband was slowly moving his hand away from inside my body. At this time, a noticeable heart beat started and it was as if I hadn't even noticed it wasn't beating beforehand. I looked up at him, startled, and his smile became even broader. As always, I felt comforted and safe just being in his presence and the experience was over.
I woke up distressed, yet exhilarated from seeing my husband again, angry that I didn't say anything in return, and relieved that I received this message at this time in my life.
I arrived home several hours later (I was severely dehydrated and was discharged after receiving three bags of normal saline). When I arrived home, I located my cell phone but the battery had died. When it came back up, I checked the phone for missed calls or text messages. The 'notes' application was open (which I don't use too often) and the following was typed onto the page:
io sono qui
non 'e il temp piccolo orsetto bianco
dove c''e amore
This was also sent to my boyfriend in a text message ...at 12:12 am. I wasn't even HOME at this time and my phone was NOT in my possession. In addition, there was note in the kitchen where this was roughly written also.
The nicknames my husband and I had for each other was big brown teddy bear and little white teddy bear (we were an interracial couple; he was a larger black man and I was an average sized white woman). Whenever we had issues come up between us, he could always calm me and bring me comfort by saying ‘Where there is love,’ and then he'd finish by relating to the subject we were discussing.
My husband spoke some Spanish and he knew I was, at one time, learning Italian but never really even got beyond a beginners knowledge. I had to look up the translation online because it's been two decades since I studied the language and I actually thought it was Spanish, but it wasn't.
Date NDE Occurred: 08/03/2012
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? No Lost consciousness. Illness, trauma or other condition not considered life threatening
How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I felt like I was several different parts of myself just kind of hanging around each other. I couldn't really feel appendages but I knew they were there.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? I was completely unconscious.
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? No Now that I read this question, it seems like we were in a place that didn't recognize time.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I only heard the words they were saying, no other background noise.
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes My husband and several others that seemed to be older than him... they were familiar to me but I don't know who they were.
Did you see an unearthly light? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm I don't recall smelling or tasting anything. I had odd physical 'feelings' of being jumbled matter instead of a whole being. I saw my husband in his entirety but the others seemed to be less 'whole'.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Fear, love, serenity, disbelief, panic, but mostly peace.
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe I knew that I had to fight to keep living that I had things to do or finish.
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal I do not believe in god/the trinity/etc. I believe in a physical existence, and existence of energy and how that energy is used.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Uncertain I'm questioning the existence of an afterlife that I've not believed in before.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes The feelings I had while it happened and the connection I felt to those around me cannot be explained.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Best: I got to see, hear, and feel my husband again.
Worst: I had to stop seeing, hearing, and feeling my husband. Again.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I've shared some of the experience with my boyfriend, who happens to be a Christian, and he believes me and is glad that it had a positive effect on me.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Maybe ask for a timeline or outline to start off with. It may help the participant get a better grasp of what order things occurred.