Experience Description

I looked up and thought to myself that I was sure that I had turned the light off, when I had gone to bed. I thought the light was coming closer to me and then thought I was dreaming. I looked down and saw myself and the sunshine through the window. I realized that I was not moving. I struggled inside me to move but could not until I heard this gasping sound which accompanied my arms moving and I opened my eyes and I could still hear this gasping when I realized it was the rush of air into my lungs. I was so terrified and utterly exhausted. I was surprised to find myself on the floor and lay down on the bed and slept.

SECOND EXPERIENCE: I was meditating and looking at my eyelids thinking that my breathing was gentle and rhythmic when this pool of purple light opened up in my head. I instantly opened my eyes terrified. The next day the same thing happened. After a few days, the purple disappeared and was replaced by the white gold light. Where the light had been surrounded by an irregular shape, I could now see that the edges were like a tear and over time the straggly bits shrank and formed a sort of wall. When the shape was perfectly round. I have this rushing experience where I was rushing down this tunnel till I came to the bright white light. This light is still with me over the last twenty-one years. It has not changed but my experiences have. Recently, I decided to study. My grades in IT and Business are very high, when I am not doing much to achieve this.

Since these experiences, my life experiences have changed. My periods stopped not much longer after this last experience and the doctors recently advise that my hormone levels are still normal.

I have had out of body experiences where I can see the outline of a body coming out of my own, and can hear my voice, which is much lighter and comes from the heart area. I hear a buzzing sound in ears before this experience.

Background Information:

Gender: Female

Date NDE Occurred: August 1971 and 2 September 1987

NDE Elements:

At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Allergic reaction 'Allergy first time, second time I was meditating and the experience was identical but went much further, deeper and when I shut my eyes I am still at the end of the tunnel looking at the light' Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function) '1st time I did not breathe and heart stopped for about 2 minutes 2nd time breathing stopped by I was aware of my heart beating very slowly' I stopped breathing for about two minutes and while still going towards the light I figured out how to get breathing and for about an hour I consciously breathed until I started to breathe automatically. I was on my own at the time. The second time I relaxed into the experience and came out of it a different person. I have nearly died a couple of times since then but have been in hospital as I learnt how to recognize the signs of anaphylaxis.

How do you consider the content of your experience? Mixed

The experience included: Out of body experience

Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I clearly left my body and existed outside it

How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal As above.

At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? All the time I am highly conscious. After I accepted what happens I visually take much more notice and look around and absorb what I am looking at.

Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast

Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Timeless, eternity, and no time. I often feel that my life has been lived in one second and it is taking me years to realize just this one second. So, my life is just a realization. My life took one second to live and a lifetime to realize.

Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid

Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. With eyes shut I see differently. Not like seeing with physical eyes, it is as though the brain is the eye. Now, color in normal life impacts on me differently. I can almost breathe color, or my eyes can feel color. If I am sitting next to someone, I know well I can 'feel' it when they fall asleep. My perceptions have changed in normal life.

Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. There is no sound. I seem to be cocooned from sound. Does not seem relevant. However when I first had this experience I heard a clicking sound when I finally got back into my body. Just at the back of my neck.

Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out

Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Yes

Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them

Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No

The experience included: Void

The experience included: Darkness

The experience included: Light

Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin

Did you see an unearthly light? Yes

Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? A clearly mystical or unearthly realm during the following periods after the initial opening of the light I noticed what seemed to be clouds flating from me outwards and upwards to the light. After a couple of years of this during closed eye meditation these clouds began to stick together and form a crystalline structure. When my eyes are shut and I am deep in meditation I can move around in this structure as it is growing. I approached doctors about this thinking I had schizophrenia or something else and was reassured that I was perfectly sane. I have read a lot since and have a library at home. I have given up trying to find answers.

The experience included: Strong emotional tone

What emotions did you feel during the experience? Serenity, overwhelming attraction to light like a magnetic tug at my being inside. The nearest I can think of is when one is just falling asleep after a long bracing walk, and one is warm and cozy but a deep profound knowing oneness with a power.

Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness

Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy

Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world

The experience included: Special Knowledge

Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe

Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control Not at the time. However, in my normal life, I appear to have spent twenty-plus years seeing my actions reflected in other people's lives. Recently this has slowed and I now appear to be seeing others' lives in terms of their development and the parallels to my life before the last experience that I had.

Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future Afterwards, yes. I have seen major world events before they happen. I did keep a logbook and diary, but this aspect is not important to me now. I am aware that others are now having similar experiences.

The experience included: Boundary

Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes Tunnel is a boundary and the light is the end. But there is a place underneath or through the light, that one can see. Almost like being inside a single binocular and seeing through, but inside another dimension.

Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will

God, Spiritual and Religion:

What was your religion prior to your experience? Liberal None

Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes I believe in a power greater than myself. I don't know anything else with any surety.

What is your religion now? Liberal 'educated at catholic school, parents atheists'

Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I believe in a power greater than myself. I don't know anything else with any surety.

Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin

Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them

Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:

During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes Not knowledge. Definitely, a purpose that I cannot work out, but watch it unfold. I have no idea. I do know that I work intuitively and can do things now that I don't understand. I just do. Some of my friends say I am a bit scary in that respect.

Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I prefer my own company.

After the NDE:

Was the experience difficult to express in words? Uncertain The first time was terrifying but the second time it turned my whole life upside down. I see differently.

Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes Increased empathy. Ability to achieve or do anything I want. Have dreamed about future events. Just before major ones happen, I get very agitated and the moment they happen the agitation goes away. This is when I stopped logging the dreams.

Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? The second time I knew that NDE's were linked to deep meditation and that NDE's were the beginning of understanding a process that was increasing in numbers. The first time it was meaningful because I had not died and I knew there was something different about my life. I felt this as a child when I started to read.

Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes The first time I was too scared to share with others, the second time I told a friend and I have not stopped. I will share it with others if the conversation comes around to a similar topic. I met a person at work and we both instantly 'understood' each other and knew we had both had the same experience. We seem to be more smiley and open or something. Not influenced. The people at work know something is different about me. I am analyzed by people! I know that I am different too.

Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I had read about it. When I was in the tunnel, I remember thinking that it was exactly as described. Although the clicking sound and the realization that I had not been breathing for some time scared me greatly. It did not occur to me, during the experience that the NDE meant that I had stopped breathing etc.

What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real The experience stayed the same in my mind and feelings. The second time I was so scared that I was totally insane. But I had this feeling and still do that it is going to be ok. I knew I had a purpose or destiny. Still not sure what it is. The strange thing about my life is that if I say that I am going to do something I am prevented from doing that. If I say I would like to do - the chances are that I will be able to do that. This sounds crazy too.

What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real I live with it every day.

At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No Don't need any medication. The light is still with me. I only have to shut my eyes. I developed diabetes though since then.

Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I would like to be able to find someone else like myself to share experiences with on a regular basis and also discuss experiences and ideas or keep a combined record.

Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? Oh no. I am just so grateful to have been able to share this.