My friends and I had bought some of the so called 'legal highs', from a 24/7 kiosk and smoked some of it. After that, my friend drove me home late at night. I still had some stuff with me. So, I decided to smoke some more while looking at the stars outside and then go to sleep. After awhile of staring at the stars, I stood up to go inside.
Then it hit me. My mind was coming and going. I was aware and not aware. I felt like I was blanking out and then coming to my senses only to blank out again. I also realized that I couldn't use my brain anymore to think. It was useless. I had no problem-solving abilities at that time and it was totally new to me back then. I always thought that my mind was somewhat isolated from the world and nothing could affect my thoughts. This experience proved me wrong, which is not surprising knowing the physiology of the brain. I was lost. I didn't know what was going on. I struggled against it for about 5 minutes, although this is a subjective opinion since I can't convert hours in an eternity. I said to myself, 'I can't handle this anymore. My brain is doing whatever it wants. It's all messed up I want to leave.' I closed my eyes.
After nothingness, I realized that I was aware of myself. I could see my body below me. I thought 'Oh that's me! Ha-ha that's funny.' While I was up there levitating, I felt a great inner peace and calmness. I had no worries, just nothing. At some point, I remember saying to myself, 'Hey I know this feeling, it feels like home'. And I knew that if I turned to see above me I would see more of everything. But I decided not to look up and concentrate on the problem. I was facing downwards where my body was.
I started questioning things and I tried to receive answers by observing how things were. After having seen my body, I questioned, 'How can it be?' I tried to look at my current me but I couldn't find anything. I had no body. I was nothing, yet I was conscious. I asked, 'How can I see if I have no eyes? Where are my eyes and my brain, that allow me to see? This can't be. This does not comply with what I have learned how things work. This can not be. What about the laws of physics doesn't this break the laws?' Then I observed and I realized the answer.
How can I break the laws of physics when am not even part of physics. I am not. I am nothing. And therefore I am not breaking any physical law. Yet I still am somehow. I could have never even dreamed about something like this. I was always associating myself to my body even in my dreams. But in my experience I was not a body. I was an infinitely tiny dot of nothingness. Yet I was conscious in the nothingness. I felt like I was on top of physics. On top of this world, even though I was in it. I was much like a spectator in a video game where after having died in a team death match (a shooter game) you are free to fly all over the place with no body in all directions until the match is over. The feeling was very similar. When you play a game you place your self (mind) into the game but your are actually outside of the game. Even if you lose in the game it has no effect on you. That was the exact sensation I was having.
Then I realized that this had happened before and that it was very important.
I now believe that the sense that it happened before was a false sensation because in a place, where everything is possible, with no time 'before' makes no sense. Everything has already happened yet it has not happened. Infinity is funny. It contains everything yet it will never ever contain everything because if it did it wouldn't be infinite.
After having this thought, the next thing I saw was my chest. I was in-front of my chest and I could see through it. I could see my heart pumping while being surrounded by my ribs and other organs. It was like I was looking at a biology diagram where there is a 3D cut which that helped me visualize the spacial placement of the organs. The only difference was that this was live and it was moving. I could 'see' my own heart pumping blood and fighting relentlessly.
That was the last thing I saw from my OBE. I woke up and was wondering why I saw my heart pumping. I decided to check what my heart was doing, so I placed my hand on it. It was racing like an F-1 engine! The beats were so fast, I couldn't distinguish one beat from the other. A memory came along at that point, of a documentary that I had seen. Some people get lost in a trip and stay in it until they eventually die from a heart attack. That gave me the greatest fear ever! At the same time, I found enough strength to stand up and ask my mom for help. Before this, I was paralyzed by the things that were going on. I was struggling to move my body.
I woke up my mom and then an ambulance came to pick me up. My heart was at 160-170 beats/min for about 3-4 hours before it came back to normal. The time until the ambulance came was the worst of all. I was something between the physical and non-physical world. Time was passing very slowly and sometimes I thought it stopped for eternity. I was trying to see things and objects around me as they really were. I was trying to look at the from all directions at once just like I could do in my OBE. I was trying to see them with my mind's eye instead of with my physical eyes. It was all very chaotic and not a lot of it makes sense to me.
All I understood through this experience is that my consciousness is both in my brain and possibly even more than that. Whatever I experience now is definitely based on physical laws, and hence I had the corresponding consciousness and experience. I believe though whatever we know now is just the tip of the iceberg. Quantum physics already describes states that sound very similar to what a lot of NDErs experience. Only research will provide more knowledge and understanding. The time of beliefs and religion is over. It is time to know.
Date NDE Occurred: 07/2009
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Drug or medication overdose. Life threatening event, but not clinical death
I have taken drugs that are synthetic chemicals that have similar structure as the 'natural' drug (cannabis). Therefore, it has similar psychoactive effects only it is many times more potent.
How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes I saw my heart beating fast. After checking it, I realized it was the reason why I saw it.
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? It was a different kind of consciousness. It wasn't higher; it was different. But the consciousness of myself was the same.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? When I was floating above myself. Although it was so fast, that I don't remember how clear the things were.
Were your thoughts speeded up? No
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Time seemed to go faster or slower than usual
Speed was slower, but my thoughts were happening at a normal speed to me.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? No
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I saw with my mind, not with my eyes. My vision was as blurry as my mind.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. No recollection of sounds.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? No
The experience included: Void
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? No
Did you see an unearthly light? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
What emotions did you feel during the experience? I felt peace and calmness, followed by a feeling of importance. After returning to my body, I felt sheer horror.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Relief or calmness
Did you have a feeling of joy? No
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt no longer in conflict with nature
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
Did you come to a border or point of no return? No
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Unknown
What was your religion prior to your experience? Unaffiliated- Agnostic
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Moderately important to me
What is your religion now? Unaffiliated- Agnostic I believe there is a master plan. A perfect mathematical and logical plan that makes sense, from every perspective and angle.
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience I believed that what happened wasn't possible because the laws of physics don't allow it. Though I was mind-blown on how it was possible, it wasn't disobeying any physical law. All was correct.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? No
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? No
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? No
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? No
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? No
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? Unknown
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? Unknown
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? No
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? Unknown
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? Unknown Uncertain I was aware that if I looked up that I would see much more. But I chose not to look.
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I greatly fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Moderately fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Moderately fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are probably meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? No
Were you compassionate after your experience? Greatly compassionate toward others
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes Anything that someone never experienced before is hard to explain. Describe the color blue! Well it's in the 450nm-490nm range but that says nothing about how you experience the color blue. In order to know how it is to see blue, you have to be a human or an animal with similar physiology.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience. I remember it clearer, although I tried to forget parts of it so that I can live a happy life.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes I cannot recall that.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was probably real I was having panic attacks all the time, and I couldn't understand how I could be and exist at all in a universe like this.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real All experiences are real. They happen due to complex interactions in the brain and body. How the experience is interpreted is what brings in the lies. For example, even a dream is real. It really happens and an EEG can record it; then it can be decoded and others can see what that person has seen. Research is still ongoing. So reality is real, every part of it. There is nothing that is not real. We should stop separating stuff that belongs together. Being different, does not mean being separate with no interactions. Every variable affects everything else; it's just that some variables have a lesser impact. For example, Newton's theory of gravity describes the elliptical path of planets to a very high level of accuracy. Though, Einstein's special theory of relativity gives an even more accurate result by taking into account factors such as time, dilation and closeness to gravitational fields. Every little detail counts.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No