After taking the medicine, I remember waking up facing myself. I was almost face to face with my body; I was floating above it horizontally and in parallel. It was on a cold table, in a cold room, with people wearing white and blue, fussing around me. They seemed to be anxious, but I was serene, surprised and detached at the same time. I saw everything like being in a milky white, but everything metallic was shiny. Then I turned myself, still horizontally, and mounted to the ceiling that was stopping me. I turned again to look down and then I felt aspirated upwards at a tremendous speed. I was in total darkness. I swiveled around and saw a small light that was growing, as I went along approaching it. Arriving into the light, I was flooded by a mixture of love, peace, and well-being in my body and soul. How shall I put it? It was as if every cell of my body was exploding of sheer happiness, while at the same time I had no body anymore: contradictory!! I will never forget this feeling and am longing for it. Then I felt that I was no longer alone, I was surrounded, at the same time close and far. I was brought to understand that there was a limit that I should not pass: it was not my moment. They reassured me, at the same time 'one' and 'all' of them. 'One' being a member of my family, and 'all' giving me the feeling that I belonged to their family. Then I felt that I was falling and when I woke up, I felt an immeasurable pain in my body and in my head, as if every cell was exploding. I heard myself yelling inside of myself, so strongly, that I thought that the whole world was hearing me!
Date NDE Occurred: 1983
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Uncertain Suicide attempt. Drug or medication overdose. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function)
How do you consider the content of your experience? Both pleasant AND distressing
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I clearly left my body and existed outside it
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal I saw everything at the same time, I felt different.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? All the time, starting when I saw me face to face.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Faster than usual
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Time seemed to go faster or slower than usual
It was slower, than faster, and slower, then no notion of time anymore.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday vision that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. A broader vision, seeing at the same time close and far.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. I didn't hear, I felt.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? No
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? Uncertain
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience? I sensed their presence
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes I think I recognized my Aunt Charlotte, deceased a few years before.
The experience included: Darkness
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? An unusually bright light
Did you see an unearthly light? Yes Brilliant and soft, warming and comfortable, clear, not yellow nor white.
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No No place, nor a world. I cannot explain it; it was evident that I should be 'there'!
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? At the beginning, no real emotions, surprise, I felt serene and detached at the same time. Then love, joy, well-being.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? No But I felt being close to a truth, an answer that I didn't get.
Did scenes from your past come back to you? No
Did scenes from the future come to you? No
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure? Yes The ceiling of the room where my body was.
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience? Not important to me
What was your religion prior to your experience? Christian- Catholic non pratiquante, ayant des doutes sur le bien fondé de ce que l'on m'avait appris au catéchisme.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? No
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience? Slightly important to me
What is your religion now? Christian- Catholic non pratiquante, ayant des doutes sur le bien fondé de ce que l'on m'a appris au catéchisme, mais avec la foi qu'il y a quelque chose après la mort.
Did your experience include features consistent with your earthly beliefs? Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes I think that there is something else after death.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin They were at once 'one' and 'all'. 'One' was a person of my family, and 'all' gave me the feeling that I belonged to their family. The voice, I recognized it as a being of my family, and the murmuring was 'all'.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I sensed their presence
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)? Uncertain
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence? No
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness? Uncertain j'ai sentis que je faisait partis d'un "tout" et que j’étais en même temps "un"
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience? God probably does not exist
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God? No
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience? I am uncertain if God exists
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Uncertain I felt that I was part of a 'whole' and that I was at the same time 'one'.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life? No
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience? I was uncertain if an afterlife exists
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience? An afterlife definitely exists No
Did you fear death prior to your experience? I greatly feared death
Do you fear death after your experience? I do not fear death
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience? Greatly fearful in living my earthly life
Were you fearful living your life after your experience? Moderately fearful in living my earthly life
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience? Are possibly meaningful and significant
Did you gain information about how to live our lives? No
During your experience, did you gain information about life's difficulties, challenges and hardships? No
Were you compassionate prior to your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
During your experience, did you gain information about love? Uncertain l'amour sur terre est un avant-goût de ce que j'ai put ressentir
Were you compassionate after your experience? Moderately compassionate toward others
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience? Slight changes in my life I don't fear death anymore, I fear suffering more. Slight changes in my life.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? No No
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience? I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience j'ai la mémoire d'une huitre, mais j'ai en mémoire les images et j'ai le ressentis de ce que j'ai vécu "comme sur le bout de la langue".
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? No
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? Love on earth is a foretaste of what I could feel.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? No
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? No
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? I have the memory of an oyster, but I kept the pictures in my memory, and the feeling of what I experienced 'as on the tip of the tongue'.
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