In the midst of the heart attack, I was talking with the emergency medical technician in the ambulance one second, and the next I was somewhere else. It was completely dark and void of sounds. I 'felt' completely immersed in an emotional cacophony of positive feelings. I have never felt as good when in my earthly body. I am convinced that I was in the presence of the Holy Spirit, even though I don't know the 'why' of this. There was absolutely no concept of time, pain, sorrow, fear, or anything negative that is associated with the human experience.
When I became conscious after my heart had to be restarted three times, I was as secure and happy as any person could be for a few moments; then the reality of being back in the world came crashing down. In the years since, I feel as though I have become more cognizant of what really happened during that time. Little pieces of the puzzle have become apparent to me, securing my belief that what I experienced was real and profound.
The second and third heart attack fourteen months later also was an experience not to be forgotten. At the worst part of the attack, my vision changed from being able to see the myriad of medical staff attending to me to a view of a horizon. I could still hear the medical staff, but what happened during their attempt to raise my blood pressure from 53/26 was vivid. I could hear the Holy Spirit telling me to hang in there as I saw a mountain range in the distance. Describing this is difficult to put into words, but everything between the mountain range and me was jet black, including the mountains.
Beyond the mountains was a very bright, white light, and I was told that if I made it to the white light that I would survive. I was conscious, but at the same time, I was moving towards the mountain range. Time was skewed, but very much apparent, as that was the measure along with what I could see to my progress. I was determined that I would make it and I eventually did once the medical staff had me stabilized. This happened to me twice that day with each heart attack.
Date NDE Occurred: 'February 6, 2002'
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event? Yes Heart attack Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function)
Heart attack with no heart beat; defibrillation?
How do you consider the content of your experience? Wonderful
Did you feel separated from your body? Yes
I lost awareness of my body
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness? More consciousness and alertness than normal As above.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness? During my first episode, I was at my highest level during the entire time.
Were your thoughts speeded up? Incredibly fast
Did time seem to speed up or slow down? Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning
Time did NOT exist. I was simply 'There'.
Were your senses more vivid than usual? Incredibly more vivid
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience. It seemed that hearing was not evident, rather, it seemed more like what I would expect from someone talking to me brain to brain without benefit of any audio.
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere? Yes, and the facts have been checked out
Did you pass into or through a tunnel? No
Did you see any beings in your experience? I actually saw them
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings? Yes The being was the Holy Spirit and he seemed to actually be a part of me. He let me know that his nature is the conduit to all that happens good in this life. He made it clear that there was a misunderstanding of him by humans on earth and that nothing happened except through him. He urged(?) me to share what he told me with everyone who would listen, and that I have done and continue to do.
The experience included: Darkness
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light? A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin
Did you see an unearthly light? No
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world? No
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience? Our dictionary will not do this justice. I felt joy, security, confidence, love, warmth, happiness, and contentment.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness? Incredible peace or pleasantness
Did you have a feeling of joy? incredible joy
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe? I felt united or one with the world
The experience included: Special Knowledge
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything? Everything about the universe
Did scenes from your past come back to you? My past flashed before me, out of my control Absolutely. My understanding of the Holy Spirit has changed and expanded beyond anything that I had been taught. I don't fear death, as I know that he is there with me every second of my existence. If I listen to him, nothing can make this life unbearable. I have a connection with him that I didn't have before. Clearly, even though I don't fear death, I have been inspired to always cherish this life and do everything in my power to continue it, even though I know that when I finally expire what awaits me.
Did scenes from the future come to you? Scenes from the world's future
Did you come to a border or point of no return? I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will
God, Spiritual and Religion:
What was your religion prior to your experience? Moderate Christian
Have your religious practices changed since your experience? Yes The emphasis on the Holy Spirit has changed the hierarchy of what I believed about God, God the Son and the Holy Spirit.
What is your religion now? Moderate Christian
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience? Yes The emphasis on the Holy Spirit has changed the hierarchy of what I believed about God, God the Son and the Holy Spirit.
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice? I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin
Did you see deceased or religious spirits? I actually saw them
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose? Yes My sense of knowing was what was imparted to me by the Holy Spirit during the experience.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience? Yes I don't worry about the mundane abstractions involved in relationships. I find that many of the things that I fretted over are meaningless and without merit.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words? Yes The complete absence of negatives and the profound security and love experienced.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience? Yes My connection with the Holy Spirit. About three years after the experience I was headed home from town. Within moments of getting on the road, I was prompted to take another route; one that I seldom took, for no apparent reason, but I followed what I was instinctively prompted to do. As I came over a rise in the highway, I saw people gathered in the median and off the road to the right. As I approached, I could see a truck upside down against a tree with people standing off to the side. I stopped even though there were so many people there. I asked if there was anyone in the vehicle and I was told to stay away from it because there was gasoline running onto the ground. I was told also that I would get sued if I got involved.
No emergency medical technicians had arrived and the police were absent, so I went to the truck. Inside still belted in was the driver, an elderly gentleman. He was upside down and his back was to me. He was unconscious and his skin was gray even though he was an African American. Gasoline was draining onto the ground right next to me as I tried to reach his seat belt, but I couldn't do it. I held his hand, checked his pulse, and spoke to him. His heart was in tachycardia like a machine gun. His pulse slowed and then stopped. I looked up and it seemed that I could almost see something as I told him that he would be in a better place. I finally released my hold on his wrist as the paramedics arrived.
I was overwrought with sadness at his passing and my inability to prevent it, but I was confident that he was with the Holy Spirit now. Why had I traveled that way? To hold his hand while he made his transition - and that I am confident of.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you? No, it was one continuous experience without parts.
Have you ever shared this experience with others? Yes Within days I spoke of what I had experienced. Disbelief and incomprehension seem to be the responses that I receive. I don't know if they were influenced at all.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience? Yes I had read about NDEs, but I don't think that it influenced what I experienced.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened? Experience was definitely real I had no doubt of what I had experienced, and still don't. It's as clear today as the moments that it took place.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now? Experience was definitely real My hand is attached to my wrist; of that I am certain as I can feel and see it. The same holds true with my experience, as I can still feel it.
At any time in your life, has anything ever reproduced any part of the experience? No
Is there anything else that you would like to add about your experience? Yes, I have been unconscious during many surgeries without benefit of remembering anything from being out. The difference between that and My Experience is profound and indisputable.
Are there any other questions that we could ask to help you communicate your experience? No, it seemed very adequate.