Experience description: 

WHEN I WAS 41YRS.OLD, I WAS DYING OF LIVER FAILURE AND SUDDEN GASTRIC  HEMORRHAGE-REQUIRING 12UNITS OF BLOOD "STAT" ..I REMEMBER BEING HELPED TO MY  BED AND AGONIZING PAIN THROUGH MY ENTIRE BODY AND PROFOUND WEAKNESS. I HAD  BEEN IN THE HOSPITAL 2 MOS., AND BY NOW IN THE OPINION OF THE MEDICAL  PROFESSION--TERMINAL. I WAS COMPLETELY ORIENTED TO MY SURROUNDINGS AND THE  GRAVE CONDITION OF MY BODY--DEPRESSED AND WORRIED. I HAD 4 CHILDREN AT HOME  THAT NEEDED ME. SUDDENLY I BEGAN TO COMPLAIN ABOUT A PIERCING BRIGHT LIGHT  IN MY EYES. NOBODY SEEMED TO HELP ME. AND IT INTENSIFIED. NEXT I NOTICED  THAT MY PAIN WAS LEAVING ME--AND I PRESSED MY FINGERS INTO THE SIDE OF MY  LEG. MEDICAL EQUIPMENT WAS ALL OVER MY BODY AND I COULD "SEE IT CLEARLY"  AND THEN I FELT PARALYZED AND "COOL". NEXT I COULD SEE EVERY ONE IN THE  ENTIRE ROOM--MANY DOCTORS AND OTHERS---AND I FELT "SORRY" FOR THEM. I FELT  VERY INTELLIGENT AND MOBILE. I COULD SEE MY HUSBAND COMING INTO THE HOSPITAL  ENTRANCE. I LOOKED DOWN AT MYSELF AND I LOOKED VERY SMALL AND  UNRECOGNIZABLE. I WONDERED IF THAT WAS REALLY ME. I THAN SEEMED TO BE  TRAVELING FEET FIRST AT A VERY FAST SPEED AND EACH TIME I RAISED MY HEAD, I  COULD SEE NO END TO THE HALLWAY. SUDDENLY I WAS SURROUNDED BY PROFOUND PEACE,  AND WARMTH AND LOVE. THE "SITUATION" WAS SO MAGNETIC AND AND THE FEELING OF  LOVE INTENSE. I WAS NOT AFRAID--I FELT AT HOME AND AT PEACE. THE INTENSE  PRESENCE OF LOVE SURROUNDED ME. I HAD SOME "SENSE OF DIRECTION"...IT SEEMED  THAT I WAS UNDERSTANDING WHAT TO DO NEXT WITH OUT BEING TOLD. IT SEEMED THAT  I HAD MORE "WORK" TO DO--THAT I WAS GOING TO "CONTINUE ON" IN SOME WAY. BUT  I FELT TIRED...AND I HAD NO INTENTIONS OF LEAVING THERE. NEXT I FELT MY PAIN  RETURNING AND THEN IT BECAME INTENSE AGAIN AND I THOUGHT "I'M BACK"...MY  NEXT THOUGHT WAS ---"I'M GOING TO GET BETTER AND THESE PEOPLE DON'T KNOW  IT"---I TRIED, BUT I WAS TOO ILL TO SPEAK. LATER I WAS IN INTENSIVE CARE,  AND I WAS RELUCTANT TO THINK ABOUT THIS EXPERIENCE...THEN AFTER DISCHARGE  WEEKS LATER--I REALIZED THAT I COULDN'T TALK ABOUT THIS TO ANYONE WITHOUT  CRYING. I SAW THE DOCTOR EVERY WEEK AND FINALLY GOT THE COURAGE TO TELL HIM.  HE SHOOK HIS HEAD AND SAID, "WELL WE THOUGHT YOU WERE GONE TWICE". FOR A  LONG TIME I FELT SO CHANGED--I WOULD THINK.. "YOU KNOW I'M NOT "ME" ANYMORE.. I  SIMPLY FELT LIKE A DIFFERENT PERSON--AND I COULDN'T EXPLAIN IT TO ANYONE.   IT TOOK ME ONE YEAR TO RECUPERATE--AND DURING MY FIRST WEEK AT HOME I SLEPT  A LOT. I AWOKE LYING FLAT ON MY BED ON MY BACK. I WAS ALONE UPSTAIRS AND I  GENERALLY WANTED TO BE WITH SOME ONE TO HELP ME GET OUT OF MY CHAIR ETC. BUT  I SAT UPRIGHT ON THE BAD AND LOOKED OVER MY LEFT SHOULDER SUPPORTING MYSELF  ON MY HANDS AND IT APPEARED THAT MY BODY WAS STILL LYING ON THE BED AND THAT  I HAD "SEPARATED" FROM IT.{!} QUICKLY, I LAID BACK ON THE BED AND REMAINED  VERY STILL. I WAS AFRAID TO TRY TO GET UP AND OUT OF BED AGAIN !!AND I KEEP  THIS EPISODE TO MYSELF TOO!!!  THIS ALL HAPPENED 20YRS. AGO AND TO THIS DAY I  STILL FEEL "DIFFERENT". NOBODY HAS THE HUMAN WORDS TO MAKE ANOTHER HUMAN  BEING GENUINELY UNDERSTAND WHAT THIS DOES TO ANOTHER PERSONS LIFE, OR THE  DEEPNESS OF OUR FEELINGS. IN VOICING THIS ALL TO ANOTHER IS FRUSTRATING  AND YOU ALWAYS KNOW THAT THEY CAN'T POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND, AND ALSO THERE MAY  BE SOME SANCTITY LOST. I FEEL MORE TOLERANCE TOWARD EVERY ONE I  BELIEVE--BUT IN SOME WAYS IT SEEMS THAT NO BODY WILL EVER UNDERSTAND.  YOU KNOW I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT DURING MY NDE--I SEEMED TO BE A "TOTAL  PERSON"_____________I MEAN I DIDN'T SEEM TO BE MISSING AND PART OF  MYSELF--I.E.BODY PARTS ETC.:}!--I WAS COMPLETELY UNAWARE OF BEING ANY THING  EXCEPT MY TOTAL SELF.. BARBARA  ANYMORE!!?? ALSO I THINK I PROTECT MY FEELINGS A LOT MORE THAN I EVER DID  BEFORE---I HAVE AN ENTIRE NEW SET OF VALUES IN LIFE...THANKS FOR  LISTENING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I AM A REGISTERED NURSE, HAD HAD A  3YR.COMMERCIAL ART COURSE, BEFORE MY ILLNESS AND I WAS TAKING NO MEDICATION  AT THE TIME OF MY NDE. THERE WAS NO "PREVIEW" OF MY LIFE---IN FACT WHEN I  FIRST PRIVATELY ALLOWED MYSELF TO THINK ABOUT WHAT I HAD EXPERIENCED AND  BELIEVING THAT I DID INDEED IN FACT LEAVE MY BODY ETC.-I WAS IMMEDIATELY  STRUCK BY THE FACT THAT I FELT COMPLETELY "GUILT FREE"!!!!I WAS RAISED A  CATHOLIC, AND THE "YOU'LL BE JUDGED THREAT"  AND WAS REMINDED DAILY OF  EITHER A "MORTAL OR VENIAL" SIN. BEING GUILTY AND HAVING TO LIVE WITH THE  CONSEQUENCES AND GOD BEING ANGRY IN SOME WAY OR ANOTHER, SO I FIGURED THIS  WAS A HOPELESS PLIGHT IN LIFE!!!!BUT------------I WAS NOT GUILTY OF  A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G!!!!!!!!I HAD FELT AN EMBRACE AND INCREDIBLE LOVE BEYOND  BELIEF!!!I SAW NO ONE BUT I FELT A "MASSIVE PRESENCE" OF WARMTH AND LOVE--A  STRONG FEELING OF TOGETHERNESS AND JOY. ALSO I THINK IT`S IMPORTANT TO NOTE  THAT ALL MY BLOOD REPORTS{LIVER BLOOD TESTS} WERE COMPLETELY NORMAL THE NEXT  DAY AND MY RENAL OUTPUT WAS NORMAL.  AND ALL MY REPORTS CONTINUED TO BE  NORMAL FROM THAT DAY ON .I HAD HAD KIDNEY SHUT DOWN  PREVIOUS TO MY  COLLAPSE--OUTPUT ONLY BEING 1CC PER DAY.    NOW, MY WEIGHT HAD DROPPED FROM  MY NORMAL 140LBS. TO 89LBS. DURING MY HOSPITAL STAY---BUT I RETURNED TO WORK  PART TIME AFTER ONE YEAR STILL THIN AND FRAIL AND HAVING SOME PAIN AS THE  DOCTOR SAID I HAD "NARROWING OF MY BONES"-WHAT EVER THAT IS. BUT I`M NOT  AFRAID TO ADMIT TO YOU AT THIS TIME IN MY LIFE--THAT WHEN I RETURNED TO  WORK, IT ALWAYS SEEMED THAT MY PATIENTS SEEMED IMPROVED WHILE I WAS  THERE!!!??? DOES THIS SOUND CRAZY?! HONESTLY, I WOULD BEGIN TO  "TEST" IT---AFTER I NOTICED THIS HAPPENING. I WOULD BE ASSIGNED A LOT TO  I.C.U., AND IT SEEMED EVEN THE WORST PATIENTS HAD LESS PAIN,-OR RESTED  BETTER ETC. EVEN SOME OF MY WORKING FRIENDS WOULD COMMENT ON THIS--AND I  WOULD JOKINGLY SAY, "OH, IT'S MY MAGICAL TOUCH"__!! THANK YOU AND I'M ONLY  ADDING THESE COMMENTS AS I WANT TO BE HONEST AND COMPLETE WITH THE INFO THAT  I OFFER AND WANT YOU TO FIND NEW SUCCESS IN YOUR STUDY OF N.D.E. THIS INFO  DOESN'T REALLY NEED TO BE ADDED TO MY FIRST INFO THAT I SENT YOU. I SIMPLY  THOUGHT IT MAY BE OF VALUE TO YOUR RESEARCH.